Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Monday, Motivation

More to Life Monday’s: Realign Your Mind

There are times when negativity seems to be the easiest thing to embrace. Parts of our lives are constantly going in what we believe is the wrong direction. In other words a lot of us may feel like “we are falling apart.”

The reality of this mindset is that we are never actually falling apart. You may be in physical, emotional or mental pain but you are still here. Therefore, something along the line has gone right.

While it may be convenient to be down or sad, it’s not worth it in the long run. A lot of us are used to vibrating on a lower energy and that’s why I say it “may be convenient.” We are not used to good things or good things happening consistently. So before we even try to embrace the good, we fall into the trap of expecting and even embracing the bad. It’s as if we say to ourselves “well this may hurt but it’s familiar.”

It’s time to realign yourself with positivity. Readjust your focus on the beauty of life and less on the ugly of it. There are splendid moments happening all around us everyday and more days of splendor are on their way. However, you’ve got to be open to these opportunities without a doubt because doubt can shut those doors closed.

Don’t allow your faith to waver or you fear to overcome it. As you begin to readjust your focus and realign your mind with a higher vibration, then you will soon realize that you were never falling apart but in fact pieces of your life were falling right into place.

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale

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How-To, Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Monday, Motivation

Make 2018 Your Year of Splendor

It has officially been one whole week of 2018. I hope that you all are feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle another 365. All over social media and even in day to day conversation there’s a widely shared opinion that 2017 was straight up B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  *cue Gwen Stefani please*

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Nevertheless, for those of us who struggled, stressed, and suffered immensely whether it be mentally or physically, there is still hope. I know it sounds cliche or hell it actually is very cliche but for me a new year often provides this feeling of being washed over with the purest of waters. Perhaps that is why my favorite holiday is the New Year. I know the numbers changing on a calendar doesn’t necessarily reset your life’s conditions but you can do so by making that change yourself.

Now, while I am no longer one for resolutions I do stand firm in the idea of creating reasonable goals for yourself with real action plans set behind them. I won’t knock those who start the new year hitting the gym hard or stocking up on low carb foods from their local grocery store because that was once me. However, there were years when I actually stuck to those resolutions. The major key for the years that I did stick to my goals was that not only did I envision myself in that new space, I first embodied the person I wanted to be mentally. That mindset along with a gameplan led me to my success.

A few years back in 2011 I decided I would go full throttle on a weight loss journey which resulted in my shedding of nearly 30 pounds. Now throughout college and life post grad that weight (and then some) did return , BUT that initial success came from a few things that I would like for you to apply to your own daily routine.

First things first, discover your desire.

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What is that thing you’ve been putting off FOREVER? Yeah that thing. Yup, I know you’re thinking about it. The book you’ve been wanting to write. The credit card you’ve been wishing would be paid off. Sidenote: wishful thinking cannot and will never make bills disappear, you’ve gotta do the work. Nonetheless, I want you all to take into consideration just one thing you’d like to accomplish for 2018 and work at it like it’s your day job. Hell so many of us have jobs we don’t even like but we work at it so hard we eventually lack the desire to do what we actually want to do. Let’s begin to redirect our energy to our true desires and perhaps we can began to build wealth off of that desire.

Second thing, *ahem* GET HELP. 

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I know it sounds scary for my fellow prideful folks out there who also happen to be very fearful of appearing dependent upon others. However, let’s be real here, there comes a point in life where doing it alone isn’t worth it. One of the major keys to how I lost that weight back in 2011 is that I had accountability at home and at school. My mother helped me buy foods that were healthier and even prepared the random recipes I had found online. At school I had my best friend who was also on a weight loss journey to keep me encouraged. Right after school we’d both workout in our rooms but in order to keep ourselves in check we would call each at the start of the workout. This happened consistently on a daily basis.

“Let’s begin to redirect our energy to our true desires and perhaps we can began to build wealth off of that desire.”

You see, it’s quite simple actually to find help. It’s everywhere. As a matter of fact, even if you don’t have family or friends to keep you accountable you can find an online community. There are so many groups on Facebook that I am sure you can find one that relates to whatever it is that you are working towards. Of course not everyone is on Facebook which is why there are other platforms we can utilize to find our own tribe (i.e. Pinterest, Twitter, Tumblr etc.). So please, I urge you to find yourself a reliable accountability partner.

Third thing, create a realistic action plan.

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A lot of us go on the deep end when it comes to goal setting. We create this abundant list of what we want to do but then in the end nothing gets accomplished. Then we kick ourselves while mentally imploding in a C sharp note of “Why me?” or “I can’t do anything right.”

STOP! Just stop that dry ass pity party and self loathing celebration by jumping right into real goal setting. This can be as simple as opening a word document and writing down your goal with one step that can lead you closer to actual results. (i.e. I want to eat less sugar- Have one meal a day without any sugar in it). I picked sugar as an example because most of us are in fact addicted to it. I also chose it because that’s actually a new goal of mine.

“Just stop that dry ass pity party and self loathing celebration by jumping right into real goal setting.”

Nevertheless, start with simple tasks that can eventually add up to even more complex ones that will then lead to your goal (s) being accomplished. You can find some examples of how to create your action plan sheet by clicking here.

Whatever you do, please start slow.  Also, make sure your goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Set deadlines). Don’t rush into it or feel as if you aren’t doing well simply because you’ve just begun. I want you to keep this in mind: Success never invites the elevator to its events, but the stairs on the other hand is always its honorary guest. It takes time to flourish, and it takes to time truly elevate to the next level.

Fourth thing, be kind to yourself.

Yes there will be times when you don’t feel like sticking to your goals but you’ve got to always go back to why you started in the first place. What made you want to have that desire in the first place and why would you stop now when you are so much closer to the end than you were yesterday? Regardless, be kind to yourself and know when a break is necessary. Understand that it is okay to pace yourself. It is about finishing the race NOT rushing through it.

“Success never invites the elevator to its events, but the stairs on the other hand is always its honorary guest.”

One more thing before I go, according to numerology as well as the bible the number 8 holds great significance. Now, I’m not going to get too deep because this isn’t some sort of spiritual lesson but I do find the meaning of names/numbers to be quite intriguing. In the bible the number 8 is considered a sign of new beginnings. Others believe that the number 8 is a representation of infinity including everything good. The number 8 is also seen as a balance which represents what you’ve sown and what you will receive as a result.

Overall, 2018 can be  whatever your heart desires. This can be your year of new beginnings, infinite blessings & accomplishments. 2018 can also be your year of sowing seeds of greatness that will soon turn into goals accomplished, doors unlocked and fears defeated. At the end of the day like the rap duo Black Sheep said “The Choice Is Yours.”

 

Featured Image Source

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

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Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Motivation

One Step At a Time

Our society today is inundated with this idea that success is just like microwaveable popcorn. I know that may sound strange upon first hearing it but really think about it. How long does it take for some instant popcorn to be made? The popcorn bag instructions usually state that it needs to be microwaved for about a minute and some change, so anywhere from 1:50-2:00 minutes. You throw your bag of popcorn in, set the cooking time, and wait for the joyful sounds of ‘pop, pop, pop’ to eventually ring in your ears and then within just a few minutes…

BOOM! Your lovely snack or college dinner is done.

Now consider this, how many us of have actually made popcorn from scratch? I sure haven’t. In fact, as I am typing this I am googling how long it takes to make homemade popcorn. In fact, how many of us have even made popcorn using a popcorn machine? *crickets*

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Popcorn Machine Goodness (Gif Source)

Exactly. Now, if you have worked in food service or residence life back in college (me) you might be familiar with how to work it or at the very least how to clean it (…me again). Either way, if you are making popcorn on the stove or via a machine it takes time. Even the process after you are done making it takes even more time. You have to wash the pan, or the different parts of the machine carefully with soap to remove residue. Let’s not forget why or how these items got dirty in the first place. Think about the oil, and salt or your seasoning of choice. All of those ingredients eventually come together to produce buildup on the pan or the machine.

Speaking of machine, prior to even using it you’ve got to heat it up for a good 3-4 minutes first and the same thing goes for the stovetop directions.  All in all in order to make popcorn it takes multiple steps for tasty results. In order for some quality popped corn you’ve got to be willing to take it slow.

Now why the in the world am I referencing all things popcorn? You clicked on this post to learn what it means to take it one step at a time, right? If not, you are on the wrong post.

Alright, alright enough with the jokes, I know they’re getting dry.

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But, on a serious note my splendid reader I know that you already understand what’s going on here because you are intelligent which is why you are here in the first place.

All day long, a good number of us get so enthralled with this idea of instant everything. Instant oatmeal, noodles, macaroni (which by the way is only good when baked & especially Caribbean style), and even instant rice (a sin in my Haitian culture to be quite honest) that we forget the essence of hard work for a tasty meal. This forgetfulness extends itself far beyond food. A prime example is this idea of success via social media. While I have no personal beef with SM, it troubles me that so many of us feel that by receiving a large number of followers, reblogs, retweets, likes etc. (the list goes on) that we are somehow validated. What really bothers me is when people use SM as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.

With that said, there are other instant privileges that have caused us to lack appreciation of a process in order to progress. Remember dial-up internet before high speed took over? I sure do. My siblings and I would have to take turns on who would make a phone call or use the internet. No in betweens.

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Good Ol Dial-Up Internet

How about Blockbuster or renting VHS tapes or DVDs from the library? Again, I do. There was no instant click of a button to Netflix. Not to mention the other irritating factor of texting which took 5-10 minutes per character and that’s me being generous.

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Blockbuster You Were So Good To Us

Nevertheless, the reason I kept bringing up popcorn earlier is because when we really think about it most of us have never tasted how good stovetop popcorn probably is. Hell, I haven’t but I have tasted fresh popcorn from a popcorn machine and it is by far way tastier than the one you just pop into the microwave. So I can only imagine what stovetop popcorn would be like once met with my tastebuds. The point is, we don’t know how its natural flavor because most of us have never taken out the time it takes to make it from scratch. We are missing that authentic taste because we aren’t willing to do what it takes to achieve that authenticity. This goes hand in hand with success and reaching your dreams. You’ve got to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and take individual steps. No rushing.

“What really bothers me is when people use SM [social media] as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.”

With that said, it’s time out for allowing social media or the climate of our society to dictate how fast or slow we go when it comes to succeeding. Every individual who we now consider to be a legend of some sort has done something legendary over a period of time. One of my favorite memes says, “Beyonce/Oprah wasn’t built in a day,” and we all know the original phrase goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Now what does Rome, Oprah and Beyonce have to do with anything I’m saying here?

Think about it, Rome was once one of the greatest empires in the world, Beyonce is now known as one of the greatest entertainers in the world (no…that is not debatable), and Oprah…well need I say more?

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Of course the list goes on of remarkable kingdoms, people, and such but you get the point. It troubles me that the generation behind me and many in my own are so obsessed with instant fame/success. All of these instantaneous moments of clout or praise are often fleeting. You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat. 15 seconds doesn’t last as long as you may expect or want it to last.

If you are in the midst of climbing the ladder to of your dreams I want you to be reminded that the longer it takes to make something usually means it will also taste way better. Fruits and vegetables are not instantly sprouted up out of the ground (maybe the GMO ones are…) but for the most part it takes the planting of a seed, care, fertile soil, water, good aim of sunlight, and most importantly it takes some time to produce these foods.

“You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat.”

Don’t be afraid of the tick tocking of any clock. Granted, we are not all allotted the same amount of time on this earth but while we are here the best way to show how much we are grateful for this time is by enjoying it now. Go in the direction of where your heart is pulling you and work for whatever it is that you are passionate about. If you haven’t quite found that passion yet, check out your hobbies and what genuinely excites you. Eventually you will find something that will help to fulfill you.

Regardless of what you choose to go for in life, remember that instant success is bland just like instant rice. You want your success to have some spices in it, a good sturdy pot to hold it, and a good amount of time coupled with the right amount of heat to cook it right to perfection. Yum, now that’s what I call a meal!

Today’s Takeout (formerly *takeaway)

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  1. True success tastes better when cooked for a while.

  2. Popcorn also tastes better when cooked  for a while.

  3. Validation is even more valid when sought from within.

  4. It is more important to focus on longevity when it comes to success as opposed to focusing on instant and possibly fleeting moments of success. 

 

 

If you enjoyed this read or want to add to the conversation please do NOT hesitate to comment below. Make sure to share this with friends, family coworkers, associates, exes, besties, and anyone else who may need a word of encouragement. Until next time splendid readers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

 

 

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Inspirational Quotes

Closing the Chapter of Yesterday

‪There are chapters in your life that are begging to be closed, but you are unwilling to do so because you’re afraid you’ll miss that familiarity. In order to move forward or to progress in life you’ve got to do just that, move forward. Remaining stagnant in a position, a place or a relationship that has expired will only confine you to you past.

Besides who wants to live in a time machine of their yesteryears? Of course we may get nostalgic about our lives prior to today but there is so much beauty to take  in today’s moments too. Embrace that! Also, there is even more beauty on its way too in your future. ‬

‪A lot of us complain that we’re hungry for the next chapter but continue flipping back to the old ones.‬ This message might be hitting home for some of you but what I want you to understand is that I am simply reiterating what your soul already knows. Within in us are answers we seek on the outside everyday and those are the same answers God and the universe have already instilled in us. You know what it is that you need to do next so just do it.

So please stop dragging your feet in the mud of yesterday & plant your feet on the concrete of today. Tomorrow’s not here yet so don’t get stuck wallowing in what isn’t yet either. Those chapters that are begging to be closed will not stop teaching you the same old lessons until you finally take that step.

Do it now.

P.S. While this could be used for my Focus Friday post please stay tuned for the official post later today. I just felt this message on my spirit today prior to work and felt compelled to share it. 

Serenity, Smiles, and Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale 

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Black Blogger, Creative Writing, Inspirational Quotes, Self-Care

Focus Friday: 23 Ways To Embrace Your Splendor

Our society is inundated with this blaring message that in order to find love you must first love yourself. While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with this message, my issue is with the fact that the journey of self-love is often tied with trying to find your “true love.” Why can’t we simply learn to love ourselves for the benefit of ourselves?

It’s key to love yourself not just so that someone else will love you, but also so that you can live a much more comfortable and liberating life. How can you go on living a productive and fulfilling life if you have yet to accept yourself fully? I’ll admit that self-love is a process, so do not be afraid to start that journey (if you haven’t already) because most of us will be on this journey for quite some time. But if you’re one of those people who have already embarked on this path to self-acceptance, and self-love then you are on the right page already.

So check out my 23, yes 23, Ways to Embrace Your Splendor.

  1. Daily Affirmations
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Gabrielle Union as Mary Jane in the Series “Being Mary Jane.” (Source)

These are honestly some of the best things to apply to your daily life. Think of a daily affirmation as your life’s mantra. Think of 3 positive keywords you want to be reflected in your life and state them daily in the mirror to yourself.

For example, “I am powerful, phenomenal and precious.” You can even go as far to say something along the lines of “I am a treasure and should be treated with the utmost respect.” For those of us who saw Girls Trip, we can link this back to the Regina Hall’s character Ryan who was constantly found repeating a self-affirmation in her time of distress.

Regina Hall as Ryan in the movie Girls Trip. Her Daily Affirmation was: “I am strong. I am powerful. I am beautiful.”

Although I’ve never really watched much of it but to those of you who are Being Mary Jane fans, I’m sure you all are familiar with her season 1 post its all over her mirror. If you practice this daily affirmation exercise, I can reassure you that it will help to boost your mood for the day. It’s especially helpful when you repeat and mediate on these words in the morning before going about your day.

  1. STOP comparing yourself to others

This is probably the worst thing one can do, especially in today’s society. Nowadays we are inundated with pictures, updates and such of others that we barely have time to look at ourselves. While that guy or gal might have what appears to be what you want, you do not know what they went through in order to get that desire. Your journey can only be compared to one person and that is…YOU.

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Sister Naomi Letting You Know What Time It Is (Source)

  1. Write
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You Don’t Need to Write An Essay… (Source)

I cannot stress this enough. Writing has gotten me through some of the worse times in my life. You don’t have to be an Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, or Edwidge Danticat. Just get yourself a nice little notebook or hell a sheet of receipt paper (I did this at an old dining hall job I had). But whatever it is, just write how you’re feeling at the moment. Express yourself. Even if you just open up the notes app in your handy dandy device, just type a few words throughout the day to check in with yourself. Hell, it can be as simple as “You good sis?” Yes I call myself “sis,” sometimes. Don’t judge!

Nor do you have to type like this….

  1. Be Real With Yourself
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Just Be Real With Yourself (Source)

If you know that you cannot do a certain thing for whatever reason, don’t try to pressure yourself. Always push but don’t pressure. Be happy with you are at the moment and understand the importance of being transparent with yourself.

  1. Play Dress Up!
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Strut Yo Stuff Laverne! (Source)

Sometimes we just need a day where we slap on some lip gloss or even chap-stick. Do up our hair, put our nicest pair of clothes on and strut our stuff.

  1. Take a Media Break

This goes back to #2, we’re so used to scrolling, clicking and liking to the point where we set up certain standards for ourselves. These standards are often subconsciously developed from what we see on TV but nowadays it’s especially from social media. But guess what? You can control what you see on your newsfeed. Unlike the days when we were growing up with just TV as our main source of media, we can control what appears in our feed based off of who we follow. Regardless, there might be people we follow who seem to be doing better than us which can cause our insecurities to surface while taking a daily scroll. Don’t believe the hype!

  1. Strengthen Your Body
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Don’t End Up Like Mr. Potato Head 😦 (Source)

Sometimes the best way to be more comfortable with yourself is to tone up. While this doesn’t mean to develop a rigorous workout plan, some of us, myself included, needs this in their life. Set goals for exercise that caters to your specific body type, and your mind as well. This can be done by reading more, paying brain games and of course making physical activity a part of your daily life.

  1. Remember Your Story
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Even the Queen of the World Embraces Her Story, Good or Bad (Source)

We all have different reasons as of to how we got to where we are today. Remember the beauty in your past and the ugliness too. Those two factors are what have guided you to the life you are living now. Your story is unique and beautiful just like you are. You have just as much power to positively impact the world as the next person. You just being you is enough already.

  1. Switch Up Your style

This is not to sound superficial but if you want to love the skin you’re in more, then take more time to groom yourself. Now grooming can be different for various people. So don’t think it only means throwing makeup on or wearing the latest trends. Add a little bit more flavor to your usual style. Make it your own. Whatever it is, sis make it pop.

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Switch Your Style, BUT Don’t Steal or Bite From Others (Source)

  1. Accentuate YOUR favorite features

We all have at least one thing about our bodies or our personalities that we love. If you can’t think of it immediately, think about it for a little then jot some thoughts down. Whatever that thing is for you, find it, embrace it and accentuate it. It could be your smile, your legs or your humor. Take that splendid feature of yours and rock it like nobody’s business.

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Embrace Dat Ass Sis…even if it don’t exist 😥 (Source)

  1. Buy Yourself Something Nice

I cannot stress this enough. I understand that everyone’s financial situations are different but there is a helping hand in the app world called Groupon. During my short time as a teacher I used up Groupon to visit nearly every massage parlor, spa or nail salon in New Orleans. If you’ve never had a massage, trust me you are missing out on sweet, sweet splendor. So as my bestie Sam and I often say to each other “Treat yo self!” aka our favorite Parks & Rec line of all time.

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#ForeverMood (Source)

  1. Appreciate Your Differences

Perhaps you feel as if you are an anomaly of some sort or that you’ve never fit in (that’s me). Learn to embrace those differences. We must remember that no one in the world is built like us and therefore we all bring something splendid to the table. Your differences just might be the inspiration someone similar to you needs to see in order to build more confidence within their self.

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Twirl On Them Haters & Embrace Yourself! (Source)

  1. Stop Judging Yourself

Listen here sis, there are far too many struggles in this cold world to worry about. Judging yourself should not be one of those struggles. Let that judgmental mentality go and allow yourself to enjoy life while you can.

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I Know That’s Right Queen Latrice! (Source)

  1. Respect Your Body
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Sometimes You Just Gotta Hit That Body Roll Like Queen Serena (Source)

A lot of us treat our bodies like dumpsters. We dump all types of trashy foods into it as if it doesn’t take us from point A to B every day. Our bodies treat us so well but they’ll treat us even better the better we take care of it from inside to out. My advice would be to fuel it with the proper nutrients, surround it with the right energy and burn the right amount of energy  off too. Don’t just allow anyone to occupy your space, time or your body.

  1. Find What Makes YOU Happy

If that means binge watching hours of old episodes of Spongebob or Living Single while scarfing down some (healthy) snacks or going for a run. Find something that brings you joy in the day and specifically make it a part of your daily routine.

  1. Take Yourself Out
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Me too Craig…me too (Source)

This is another thing I’ve grown to love this year. Some call it masterDating and I love it. I’ve gone to concerts, dinners, and the movies all on my own. In fact, I sometimes prefer that because then there are no expectations that I have for others. I know myself best so I know that being in my company won’t let me down. Going out on your own can seem a bit scary at first but trust after the third time you’ll be a pro. Yes to masterDates! During your moments of solitude, you also get a chance to truly learn what it is that you love.

  1. Watch daily Motivational Videos
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Speak It Into Existence (Source)

I am a motivational video junky. Literally if you go through my YouTube video history or watch later list, all you’ll see is in relation to personal development or regarding living your best life. Trust me it helps. If you watch one everyday for at least 5 minutes before starting your day it can give your soul a nice boost of energy. It’s like an espresso shot for your mind and spirit. Some of my favorites to watch are Les Brown, Lisa Nichols and Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters).

  1. Sip a Splendid Drink
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How Else Do You Live Forever? Duh! Drink that Red Wine! (Source)

Wine? Daiquiri? Smoothies? Or a simple sweet tea on the rocks? Choose your flavor and sip your beverage in peace. If you aren’t already up on the smoothie wave, I urge you to get on it. I have one at least 3-5x a week. But, this is about YOU. Find your favorite drink, blast some music and sip that tea, wine, or smoothie.

  1. Treat Your Body
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You Know What Time It Is (Source)

You don’t even need a spa for spa treatment. YouTube and Pinterest are stock full of DIY spa ideas for your home. So if you’re an introvert like me you don’t even got to leave the comfort of your own humble abode. You can even hit up your local pharmacy for some mini facial packets. I’ve used a few that are so relaxing and rejuvenating for my skin. Another way to treat your body is to cook yourself a good meal…or order one. But, if you are not a big cooker, trust me it can be relaxing once you get the hang of it. Not everyone is the kitchen friendly type and I understand.

  1. Laugh More
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Find some friends to laugh with like this guy! (Source)

Did you know it takes more energy and muscles to frown than to smile? I would insert a link with stats about this little fun fact but I’m too tired to do so at the moment. So google it. Anyways, there is so much to smile about in this world and to laugh about. Yet we tend to get some caught up in the circumstances that make us cry so much more than those that can bring us tears of joy. I tend to laugh a lot because I make silly jokes to get myself through the day. You can find standup specials everywhere or if that’s not your wave watch Teletubbies (I promise you won’t stop laughing).

  1. Take a Damn Nap

Enough said. Sleep. That is all.

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I Feel You Sis! (Source)

  1. …Just Breathe

There’s a song I would hear on the radio as a kid that has always been a favorite. Basically there are times when all we need to just do is breathe. Part of embracing the skin your in is accepting your life for what it is. Now if you are trying to get to the next level you should being making strides towards that. However, it is okay to just breathe and take a break. Give yourself a break when it is necessary.

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Okay maybe not like this but you get the point…(Source)

  1. Drink Water

Look, I ain’t bout to play with you sis. Drink your damn water and go! People out here having all these different conditions and come to find out some of y’all just parched. Quench your thirst, love yourself and moisturize.

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DRINK UP SIS! Moisturize Your Insides LOL (Source)

 

 

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

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Featured, Motivation, Self-Care

Focus Friday: You Are Not Burdensome…You Are a Blessing

Do you ever feel as if you are a burden to others in some way?

I hope and pray your answer to this is no BUT if it is not, that is okay. I have felt that way for most my life and the great news is that we are not alone. (Come on now, you know misery loves company.)

Alright let’s get serious here. As a child I often had this strange feeling that I was in some way a burden to others. This feeling of being burdensome extended from friends to family. While no one in particular ever expressed that I was a burden to them, somehow deep down inside I always felt that way anyways. As I matured into a young woman this feeling of being burdensome grew right alongside me and followed me into the relationships I formed with men and platonic friendships as well. No matter how much other people have attempted to convince me otherwise, in my head it was always this idea that I held others down (and not in a ride or die kind of way).

FYI: This post isn’t going to be some major “Here’s how I got over it,” story, but it is meant to be an outlet for others who may feel the same.

In recent conversation with someone close to me I had to be reminded of the beauty that exists within having loved ones around who are there to support you. As an individual who has a lot of pride, is EXTREMELY independent, and who enjoys being fully self-sufficient it is difficult for me to be vulnerable or anyway dependent on others. However, within the past year it appears the recurring theme God is revealing to me is the need for “transparency,” and “vulnerability.”

Sometimes it is actually okay to depend on others. This does not in any way make you a leech or a horrible person (unless of course you can provide for yourself but choose to use others but that’s another story). So, no matter how much I desire to be completely independent, unfortunately in life that’s impossible. There will be a point in time when we all will need help from someone or somewhere. When those times come we shouldn’t assume that we are being a burden to others.

We are all in this world together with different strengths and different weaknesses. We are supposed to help lift others up as we also climb and vice versa. There is never a reason you should ever feel as if your existence or mere presence is a burden on others. By definition the word burden means “a load, especially a heavy one,” and burdensome means “difficult to carry out or fulfill.” Now when you see those two definitions side by side, does that sound like something that can be applied to a person and more importantly does that sound like it applies to you in the least bit? I know when I read it; it most certainly does not define me or my existence.

“There will be a point in time when we all will need help from someone or somewhere.”

I want you to really think about the aforementioned definitions, “Am I a load? Am I difficult to carry?” While we may all have our emotional and mental baggage, none of that is too difficult for us to carry when we have the proper support. Now if we choose to carry it all on our own then I can understand a feeling of heaviness within ourselves. But, this is why we need to be open to being more vulnerable with those who we trust.

“There is never a reason you should ever feel as if your existence or mere presence is a burden on others.”

Now, I know we may not all have someone in our corner directly so perhaps reaching out to strangers (yes strangers) might be helpful. There are hotlines or now even apps where you can reach out to volunteers and professionals that will help you sort through issues you may not be able to sort through with family or friends. Nevertheless, I want you to understand that you and I, we all come with our own personal issues but we also come with just as many solutions for this world. You may not feel it or see it now but you help move the world forward every single day.

inspirational-quotes-inspiring-quotes-potential-quotes-inner-voice-quotes-you-are-not-a-burden-you-have-a-burden-which-by-definition-is-too-heavy-to-carry-on-yoru-own

This quote resonates so much with this topic but it is not a quote of my own. Source

We contribute just as much to this world as the next person does. It may not be regarded as grand as the Oprah’s, Obama’s, or even Beyoncé’s of the world but it still damned good. We all have our individual purposes in this world and if you are a believer you know that God sent you to earth with an assignment specifically designed for you. So whenever you begin to view yourself as a burden in anyway, please remember that you are needed, necessary and most certainly NOT a load for someone to carry. We have burdens in life but we are NOT burdensome. We should be allowed to take up space and fill this world with all of our awesomeness. You have a space in this world and you have a place designated just for you.

With that said, I want you all to keep these main points in mind:

1) You are in NO way a burden

2) You deserve to take up space in this world

3) You have a place & purpose on earth

4) You are a blessing to others

5) Sometimes we need support & that is okay

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

Ms. Royale

 

P.S. For those who may not be comfortable with reaching out to family or friends about any feelings of being burdensome or any other issues below are a few links of helpful resources.

TalkSpace (An app for therapy on iOS and Android)

 BetterHelp

MentalHelp.net

PsychCentral

 

 

 

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lifestyle blogger

Be Patient with Your Journey 

Why are you in such a rush to get where you are already destined to be?

Recently in a conversation with one of my sisters we discussed the importance of patience & taking your time when it comes to work towards your future goals. While it is important to work hard & discipline yourself, there is no rule book that says you must accomplish everything all at once.

As an individual who is prone to rushing a lot in life I find myself anxious for no reason. Constantly telling myself that success in everything I’m passionate about must come by 25 or 27 the latest, that is draining to say the least. So my advice to you all is to take a step back, think through it all and really analyze the steps needed to safely climb up your mountain of accomplishments. Give yourself time. Be patient with you. Most importantly, do not rush yourself.

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale 💜💜💜

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Check Your Surroundings 

Tip of the day: Check your surroundings. Are you around people who will help to reconstruct you or deconstruct you? Are you going to the places that resonate with what who you are and what your spirit needs? Are you saying, thinking and eating the right things? 
Are you simply dreaming or doing? How’s your heart rate, is at an elevated rate due to another missed deadline or is it due to excitement since you’ve accomplished another task?

It is important for you to prioritize your dreams on today and moving forward. Surround yourself with the people, environments, foods etc. that are going to help you grow, heal and most important reach your goals. Never mind to toxic folks and behaviors. Instead set your mind on ones that will help you and your spirit flourish. 💜💜💜
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,
Ms. Royale 

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Renew Your Mind: DONT PANIC! 

One of my goals for the week is to refrain from overreacting. Often times we over analyze or over think everything without giving our minds time to truly realize what’s at play. 
Think about the last tough situation you were in, now consider how you reacted automatically to it. Was that reaction that everything is going bad and you won’t survive? Or did you calmly consider that things will get better in a matter of time?
Truth be told I usually go with the first reaction then the second one much later. A good number of us have the setting of our minds on default for “REACT NOW! PANIC!” You have the power to change that. Yeah bad things will occur BUT your reaction is literally everything. Some things are out of our power yes but try your best to control your reaction. 
Have a Splendid-Full Day
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,
Ms. Royale

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Creative Writing, Featured, Motivation

Focus Friday #6: Unleash Your Power

So now you know what you’re good at and you’re ready to take a hold of it by both hands. You are ready to flourish! But there’s one element missing. You’re not sure how to make it all work.

Well let’s start this off in the right lane, slow ya roll. The first step should be for you to consider what are some ways that you can actually apply your craft to the world. A lot of us may think we are creative beyond belief but that doesn’t mean anything until we make it work. No movie is any good trapped within the grooves of its creator’s brain. Allow yourself to perfect your craft through daily practice. No one can know who you are or what is that you bring to the table until YOU make them notice that.

Begin to do your research to see where your niche can be applied. Perhaps there are industries in dire need of your expertise or simply based off of who you are they have a space that needs to be filled. Use that to your advantage. However, it’s okay to create your own lane from the ground up. You just have to be okay with knowing it’ll take a whole lot more work than finding an already built up company.

“No movie is any good trapped within the grooves of its creator’s brain.”

Either way there is work to be done. Unfortunately in our society the easier route is to just fall in line with all of the other workforce employees. While there is nothing wrong with that and I do believe that God grants us all a purpose wherever we are meant to be in life. I also believe that some of us are far too eccentric to remain within the 4 walls of someone else’s dream or stuck in a tight cubicle next to Jan who is obsessed with her cat Gary.

“Begin to do your research to see where your niche can be applied.”

Once we figure out what in life is our passion, we are on our way to finding our purpose in life. Then from there you can begin to flex those purpose filled muscles with pride! You can help save the world in your own way by unleashing your superpower into the world.

If you are a writer, why not start that blog or start writing that book? You’ve got to finish that book though so stick to it until it is COMPLETE (oh don’t mind me…I’m just scolding myself). If you are an athlete make sure you conditioning your body as much as possible within the limits and needs of that sport.

If you are a student…STUDY (no the word “study” is not equivalent to ST.udent DY.ing). Instead it stands for Striving To Uplift Discipline Yearly. Now that might sound weird when you first see it but really meditate on that for a second. Every single day we should be elevating our minds, bodies, and souls through the necessary means we know are good for us.

So by making sure that you are building yourself up along with your craft, by next year and every year after that you should be on a new level. If we remain on the level we are on at year 1 in year 5 then we have done ourselves a disservice. So every single year we should strive to uplift or better our discipline to focus on our craft. Make focus your main habit!

Unleash your power in the proper place. Do what you must to get what you desire and deserve.

So we’ve now established two things so far:

1) Find Your Superpower

2) Find A Place to Unleash Your Superpower

For more on what you need to in order to live in your purpose with passion stay tuned for next week’s More to Life Monday post! 🙂

PS This was initially meant to be just one post but I’m feeling like I want it to expand beyond that so make sure you check out the first part of this series by clicking here 

 

Serenity, Positive Vibes & Smiles,

 

Ms. Royale

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Featured, Monday, Motivation

More to Life Monday #4: Your Super Power

Alright let’s play a quick game, I’m going to say a word and you are going to think of the first thing that comes to mind when you see it.

Doctor

Superman

Wonderwoman

Dentist

Mechanic

Professor

Garbageman

Annnd time! Okay so I assume that for some of these the first thought that may have occurred in your mind may have easily been fear. For me it went something like this…

Doctor- Healing

Superman- Flying

Wonder Woman- Bad Ass!

Dentist- SCARY!!! Cavities 😥

Mechanic- Fixed cars

Professor- Educated

Garbageman- Helps clean

All of these titles resonate with us in different ways. For some doctors and dentists may evoke negative emotions due to past experiences. Superman and Wonder Woman are most people’s childhood super heroes so we already know that will remind us of someone who is powerful. Professors while educated can sometimes give off a negative vibe to students depending on their personality in the classroom which stands true for any educator. Mechanics and garbagemen get shit done! Usually the things we can’t or don’t care to do.

The first thought for you when seeing the word garbageman might have been “dirty,” or “smelly,” but think about it, we’re the ones who contribute to their job being so dirty and smell. So in essence we’re the smell dirty ones. Garbagemen help keep our neighborhoods clean and they don’t get the recognition that they deserve.

While all of us are going through life nit picking every possible opportunity, there are people out here taking advantage of what is already available or creating their own opportunities. You see, each one of us has the motivation to be just like all of these great people aforementioned. But, none of these achievements will simply walk up to us, tap us on the shoulder, and cradle us until we reach our success. We’ve got to reach down within our own selves and pull out that super power that keeps our dreams alive.

What is your superpower?

What keeps you up at night or crowds your mind as you are working your 8-4:30?

What is that one thing that if you weren’t paid for it, you’d do in a heartbeat?

Thought of it yet? Yes? Awesome!! Well guess what, you’ve just taken the first step of being your own superhero. Congrats to you! That thing you are so passionate about in life is your key to unlock your future, the very hoop you need to shoot ya shot in and most certainly that super power you’ve been blessed with. So what if others have a similar talent, goal or dream MAKE THAT SHIT WORK! No one can be you no matter what they do or try.

So when people ask you “If you had a superpower what would it be?” You can tell them I already have a superpower…if you’ve discovered it already that is lol…don’t start making things up. But, even if you have discovered it that doesn’t mean you have to share it with them or anyone else for that matter. Share what makes you comfortable.

So moving forward, when you find your passion I promise your purpose will follow. After all, one’s knowledge of their purpose plus activation of momentum equals power. Meaning that once you discover your purpose it is then time to find a way to add some fuel behind and get things moving.

And if anyone doubts you, remember that you are SuperPower(full) and can dispel the evil energies of haters with every step that you take into your purpose! 🙂

P.S. Stay tuned for the second part of this new You Are Super-Power(FULL) Series on this week’s Focus Friday

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

Ms. Royale

 

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