lifestyle blogger

Blog Facelift…Pending

Upon my initial venture into the blogger-sphere I wanted this blog to reflect my undying love and support for my fellow WOC and especially black women and girls (See home page/about page). However, I found myself going in multiple directions because as the true Gemini that I am being one sided would be painful. Thus, it was time for me to readjust. I understand all of the online tips about having a niche but still that’s hard for me. I want my niche to still revolve around inspiration though, that will never change.

But, I am a creative by nature and extremely passionate about my writing, planning and even editing. So that brought me to one idea, use this blog to share your deep love and admiration for all things creative. With that said, the blog will be going through a major facelift in the next few weeks/month. I hope that all of you will still remain and enjoy the ride with me as I dive deeper into self-discovery, growth and most importantly honing in on my craft(s).

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

Ms. Royale

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Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Monday, Motivation

More to Life Monday’s: Realign Your Mind

There are times when negativity seems to be the easiest thing to embrace. Parts of our lives are constantly going in what we believe is the wrong direction. In other words a lot of us may feel like “we are falling apart.”

The reality of this mindset is that we are never actually falling apart. You may be in physical, emotional or mental pain but you are still here. Therefore, something along the line has gone right.

While it may be convenient to be down or sad, it’s not worth it in the long run. A lot of us are used to vibrating on a lower energy and that’s why I say it “may be convenient.” We are not used to good things or good things happening consistently. So before we even try to embrace the good, we fall into the trap of expecting and even embracing the bad. It’s as if we say to ourselves “well this may hurt but it’s familiar.”

It’s time to realign yourself with positivity. Readjust your focus on the beauty of life and less on the ugly of it. There are splendid moments happening all around us everyday and more days of splendor are on their way. However, you’ve got to be open to these opportunities without a doubt because doubt can shut those doors closed.

Don’t allow your faith to waver or you fear to overcome it. As you begin to readjust your focus and realign your mind with a higher vibration, then you will soon realize that you were never falling apart but in fact pieces of your life were falling right into place.

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale

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Inspirational Quotes

Closing the Chapter of Yesterday

‪There are chapters in your life that are begging to be closed, but you are unwilling to do so because you’re afraid you’ll miss that familiarity. In order to move forward or to progress in life you’ve got to do just that, move forward. Remaining stagnant in a position, a place or a relationship that has expired will only confine you to you past.

Besides who wants to live in a time machine of their yesteryears? Of course we may get nostalgic about our lives prior to today but there is so much beauty to take  in today’s moments too. Embrace that! Also, there is even more beauty on its way too in your future. ‬

‪A lot of us complain that we’re hungry for the next chapter but continue flipping back to the old ones.‬ This message might be hitting home for some of you but what I want you to understand is that I am simply reiterating what your soul already knows. Within in us are answers we seek on the outside everyday and those are the same answers God and the universe have already instilled in us. You know what it is that you need to do next so just do it.

So please stop dragging your feet in the mud of yesterday & plant your feet on the concrete of today. Tomorrow’s not here yet so don’t get stuck wallowing in what isn’t yet either. Those chapters that are begging to be closed will not stop teaching you the same old lessons until you finally take that step.

Do it now.

P.S. While this could be used for my Focus Friday post please stay tuned for the official post later today. I just felt this message on my spirit today prior to work and felt compelled to share it. 

Serenity, Smiles, and Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale 

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Black Blogger, Black Girl Magic, black women

30 Days of Me Challenge: Day 5-Location, Location

Today’s challenge is “A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.” This year thanks to my absolutely wonderful best friend of 10 years, Samantha, I got the chance of visiting the National Museum of African-American History & Culture. When I tell ya a great time was had. I’ve never in my black ass life been so happy to be somewhere and for that long of a time too. I’d back again and again until I know that building from its foundation to its roof. The amount of history, legacy and overall education that exists in one place. The feeling I had as I moved from the pre-enslavement floor all the way until I got to the music moguls floor, I simply fell in love with my blackness in ways I can hardly explain. If you haven’t visited yet, make that a goal please & no you don’t have to just be Black. Take a trip to DC just for this f you have to, you won’t regret it! 

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lifestyle blogger

30 Days of Me Challenge: Day 3

Today’s challenge or the challenge for three days ago was for me to show a picture of my animals. I don’t currently have any pets but in middle school I had a puppy named Teddy. Teddy was super adorable and had the prettiest brown fur. Unfortunately I had to give Teddy away when my mother and I relocated from Georgia back to New Jersey. But, even though I can’t seem to find any old pics of Teddy and I, I’ll put a picture up of a dog that favors her. Teddy was a lab and pitbull mix. Her fur was moreso the color of the puppy on the right but regardless both of these puppies are super cute so I had to share them. Anyways, I sure do miss that girl, she was super sweet and very much a comfort for me during my awfully awkward middle school days.

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Inspirational Quotes, Quotes, Self-Care

23 Daily Affirmations for Your 20-Somethings

So as the world continues to turn and we all are reminded that we seriously have one life to live (did y’all get the soap opera references? no?…okay nevermind lol) Anyways, in all seriousness it is appearing that more and more of us 20 something year olds are really out here lost in the sauce. This feeling of being lost doesn’t only apply to folks in their 20s, but it extends to those in their 30s, 40s and up. I know it sounds weird but it’s true. As kids we assume that once we’re older everything will magically get better and we will know everything BUT obviously we now know that this fantasy is far from the truth.

Now, before we get into the meat and bones of this post, let’s quickly discuss what an affirmation is anyways. It’s a more common phrase today throughout social media, blogs, and such. The term Daily Affirmation is largely related to the theory known as the “Law of Attraction.” Being someone who grew up in a Christian household, I honestly connect what I learned growing up to the Law of Attraction. It’s a simple idea honestly. Simply put, what we speak,  say and think are all in direct relation to what it is that we receive in life. Throughout my life I’ve heard several sermons in relation to the idea that, “There is power in the tongue.” As for the Law of Attraction or Manifestation, “What you speak is what you will see or manifest.”

 

More specifically, a Daily Affirmation is a statement we make to ourselves that we affirm as being true or as one definition says it is “Law. a solemn declaration…” For example, when we declare to ourselves that we are “powerful beyond belief ” or that “we can and will accomplish something,” we are affirming the greatness that exists within ourselves. This is why it is important to implement Daily Affirmations into our everyday routines. The more you think that something is true, then the easier it is to speak it as if it is true and later act as if it is true. Therefore, if you have affirmed that you deserve greatness in your life then you will say and do things that reflect that belief. As a result you will begin to attract that desired greatness in different areas of your life

Implementing Daily Affirmations is literally so simple that you can do it while washing your face or brushing your teeth in the morning. For those who read last week’s Focus Friday post, you’ll recall the picture of Gabrielle Union in the hit show “Being Mary Jane,” where she has a whole bunch of sticky notes on her bathroom mirror. Each sticky note had an affirmation on it so that each day she is reminded of the positive thoughts she has about herself. It’s that simple y’all!

With that said, I wanted to give us all a pick me up for the week. In the usual nature of Focus Fridays, let’s focus on some positivity to kick off our weekend. I present you with 23 daily affirmations for all you 20 something year olds. (Ohh and don’t worry if you’re not in your 20’s, trust me these might still apply to you.)

  1. I don’t have to have ALL my shit together today or right now.

  2. It is okay to let go of the friendships, relationships, and even jobs that I’ve outgrown.

  3. I have a whole lot of life left to live it up.

  4. I have ALL the tools to succeed already within myself.

  5. There is nothing wrong with leaning on others for support.

  6. I deserve to be happy and to have peace of mind.

  7. Love can wait and so can I.

  8. Desiring love and pursuing it doesn’t make me “thirsty,” or desperate.

  9. I will refrain from going out of my way for people who can’t see my worth.

  10. I will make self-care a major part of my life.

  11. I am deserving of a comfortable & rewarding career.

  12. There is nothing wrong with asking for what I’ve earned and deserve.

  13. I am allowed to take up space & exist no matter what.

  14. I can and I will push myself everyday to fulfill my own happiness even in the smallest ways.

  15. I do not need anyone to complete me, I am already the whole package.

  16. I am my only competition and I am winning on both sides.

  17. I will not allow others to define my worth.

  18. I will enjoy the days of my youth as much as possible.

  19. I don’t need to have what everyone else has, what’s for me is just for me.

  20. I am still learning, I am still growing and that is okay.

  21. I am more powerful than I think and I will live a life full of splendor.

  22. I am am worthy of respect from myself and from others.

  23. I love every scar, curve, blemish or stretch mark that makes up my body. My mind, body and spirit is splendid!

 

P.S. I hope that this inspires someone to continue living their life in sweet, sweet splendor! Let me know in the comments which affirmation is your favorite & which one you’ll be posting on your bathroom mirror first. Make sure to share this list with others who you know will benefit from it.

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

 

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Black Blogger, Creative Writing, Inspirational Quotes, Self-Care

Focus Friday: 23 Ways To Embrace Your Splendor

Our society is inundated with this blaring message that in order to find love you must first love yourself. While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with this message, my issue is with the fact that the journey of self-love is often tied with trying to find your “true love.” Why can’t we simply learn to love ourselves for the benefit of ourselves?

It’s key to love yourself not just so that someone else will love you, but also so that you can live a much more comfortable and liberating life. How can you go on living a productive and fulfilling life if you have yet to accept yourself fully? I’ll admit that self-love is a process, so do not be afraid to start that journey (if you haven’t already) because most of us will be on this journey for quite some time. But if you’re one of those people who have already embarked on this path to self-acceptance, and self-love then you are on the right page already.

So check out my 23, yes 23, Ways to Embrace Your Splendor.

  1. Daily Affirmations
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Gabrielle Union as Mary Jane in the Series “Being Mary Jane.” (Source)

These are honestly some of the best things to apply to your daily life. Think of a daily affirmation as your life’s mantra. Think of 3 positive keywords you want to be reflected in your life and state them daily in the mirror to yourself.

For example, “I am powerful, phenomenal and precious.” You can even go as far to say something along the lines of “I am a treasure and should be treated with the utmost respect.” For those of us who saw Girls Trip, we can link this back to the Regina Hall’s character Ryan who was constantly found repeating a self-affirmation in her time of distress.

Regina Hall as Ryan in the movie Girls Trip. Her Daily Affirmation was: “I am strong. I am powerful. I am beautiful.”

Although I’ve never really watched much of it but to those of you who are Being Mary Jane fans, I’m sure you all are familiar with her season 1 post its all over her mirror. If you practice this daily affirmation exercise, I can reassure you that it will help to boost your mood for the day. It’s especially helpful when you repeat and mediate on these words in the morning before going about your day.

  1. STOP comparing yourself to others

This is probably the worst thing one can do, especially in today’s society. Nowadays we are inundated with pictures, updates and such of others that we barely have time to look at ourselves. While that guy or gal might have what appears to be what you want, you do not know what they went through in order to get that desire. Your journey can only be compared to one person and that is…YOU.

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Sister Naomi Letting You Know What Time It Is (Source)

  1. Write
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You Don’t Need to Write An Essay… (Source)

I cannot stress this enough. Writing has gotten me through some of the worse times in my life. You don’t have to be an Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, or Edwidge Danticat. Just get yourself a nice little notebook or hell a sheet of receipt paper (I did this at an old dining hall job I had). But whatever it is, just write how you’re feeling at the moment. Express yourself. Even if you just open up the notes app in your handy dandy device, just type a few words throughout the day to check in with yourself. Hell, it can be as simple as “You good sis?” Yes I call myself “sis,” sometimes. Don’t judge!

Nor do you have to type like this….

  1. Be Real With Yourself
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Just Be Real With Yourself (Source)

If you know that you cannot do a certain thing for whatever reason, don’t try to pressure yourself. Always push but don’t pressure. Be happy with you are at the moment and understand the importance of being transparent with yourself.

  1. Play Dress Up!
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Strut Yo Stuff Laverne! (Source)

Sometimes we just need a day where we slap on some lip gloss or even chap-stick. Do up our hair, put our nicest pair of clothes on and strut our stuff.

  1. Take a Media Break

This goes back to #2, we’re so used to scrolling, clicking and liking to the point where we set up certain standards for ourselves. These standards are often subconsciously developed from what we see on TV but nowadays it’s especially from social media. But guess what? You can control what you see on your newsfeed. Unlike the days when we were growing up with just TV as our main source of media, we can control what appears in our feed based off of who we follow. Regardless, there might be people we follow who seem to be doing better than us which can cause our insecurities to surface while taking a daily scroll. Don’t believe the hype!

  1. Strengthen Your Body
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Don’t End Up Like Mr. Potato Head 😦 (Source)

Sometimes the best way to be more comfortable with yourself is to tone up. While this doesn’t mean to develop a rigorous workout plan, some of us, myself included, needs this in their life. Set goals for exercise that caters to your specific body type, and your mind as well. This can be done by reading more, paying brain games and of course making physical activity a part of your daily life.

  1. Remember Your Story
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Even the Queen of the World Embraces Her Story, Good or Bad (Source)

We all have different reasons as of to how we got to where we are today. Remember the beauty in your past and the ugliness too. Those two factors are what have guided you to the life you are living now. Your story is unique and beautiful just like you are. You have just as much power to positively impact the world as the next person. You just being you is enough already.

  1. Switch Up Your style

This is not to sound superficial but if you want to love the skin you’re in more, then take more time to groom yourself. Now grooming can be different for various people. So don’t think it only means throwing makeup on or wearing the latest trends. Add a little bit more flavor to your usual style. Make it your own. Whatever it is, sis make it pop.

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Switch Your Style, BUT Don’t Steal or Bite From Others (Source)

  1. Accentuate YOUR favorite features

We all have at least one thing about our bodies or our personalities that we love. If you can’t think of it immediately, think about it for a little then jot some thoughts down. Whatever that thing is for you, find it, embrace it and accentuate it. It could be your smile, your legs or your humor. Take that splendid feature of yours and rock it like nobody’s business.

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Embrace Dat Ass Sis…even if it don’t exist 😥 (Source)

  1. Buy Yourself Something Nice

I cannot stress this enough. I understand that everyone’s financial situations are different but there is a helping hand in the app world called Groupon. During my short time as a teacher I used up Groupon to visit nearly every massage parlor, spa or nail salon in New Orleans. If you’ve never had a massage, trust me you are missing out on sweet, sweet splendor. So as my bestie Sam and I often say to each other “Treat yo self!” aka our favorite Parks & Rec line of all time.

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#ForeverMood (Source)

  1. Appreciate Your Differences

Perhaps you feel as if you are an anomaly of some sort or that you’ve never fit in (that’s me). Learn to embrace those differences. We must remember that no one in the world is built like us and therefore we all bring something splendid to the table. Your differences just might be the inspiration someone similar to you needs to see in order to build more confidence within their self.

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Twirl On Them Haters & Embrace Yourself! (Source)

  1. Stop Judging Yourself

Listen here sis, there are far too many struggles in this cold world to worry about. Judging yourself should not be one of those struggles. Let that judgmental mentality go and allow yourself to enjoy life while you can.

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I Know That’s Right Queen Latrice! (Source)

  1. Respect Your Body
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Sometimes You Just Gotta Hit That Body Roll Like Queen Serena (Source)

A lot of us treat our bodies like dumpsters. We dump all types of trashy foods into it as if it doesn’t take us from point A to B every day. Our bodies treat us so well but they’ll treat us even better the better we take care of it from inside to out. My advice would be to fuel it with the proper nutrients, surround it with the right energy and burn the right amount of energy  off too. Don’t just allow anyone to occupy your space, time or your body.

  1. Find What Makes YOU Happy

If that means binge watching hours of old episodes of Spongebob or Living Single while scarfing down some (healthy) snacks or going for a run. Find something that brings you joy in the day and specifically make it a part of your daily routine.

  1. Take Yourself Out
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Me too Craig…me too (Source)

This is another thing I’ve grown to love this year. Some call it masterDating and I love it. I’ve gone to concerts, dinners, and the movies all on my own. In fact, I sometimes prefer that because then there are no expectations that I have for others. I know myself best so I know that being in my company won’t let me down. Going out on your own can seem a bit scary at first but trust after the third time you’ll be a pro. Yes to masterDates! During your moments of solitude, you also get a chance to truly learn what it is that you love.

  1. Watch daily Motivational Videos
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Speak It Into Existence (Source)

I am a motivational video junky. Literally if you go through my YouTube video history or watch later list, all you’ll see is in relation to personal development or regarding living your best life. Trust me it helps. If you watch one everyday for at least 5 minutes before starting your day it can give your soul a nice boost of energy. It’s like an espresso shot for your mind and spirit. Some of my favorites to watch are Les Brown, Lisa Nichols and Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters).

  1. Sip a Splendid Drink
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How Else Do You Live Forever? Duh! Drink that Red Wine! (Source)

Wine? Daiquiri? Smoothies? Or a simple sweet tea on the rocks? Choose your flavor and sip your beverage in peace. If you aren’t already up on the smoothie wave, I urge you to get on it. I have one at least 3-5x a week. But, this is about YOU. Find your favorite drink, blast some music and sip that tea, wine, or smoothie.

  1. Treat Your Body
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You Know What Time It Is (Source)

You don’t even need a spa for spa treatment. YouTube and Pinterest are stock full of DIY spa ideas for your home. So if you’re an introvert like me you don’t even got to leave the comfort of your own humble abode. You can even hit up your local pharmacy for some mini facial packets. I’ve used a few that are so relaxing and rejuvenating for my skin. Another way to treat your body is to cook yourself a good meal…or order one. But, if you are not a big cooker, trust me it can be relaxing once you get the hang of it. Not everyone is the kitchen friendly type and I understand.

  1. Laugh More
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Find some friends to laugh with like this guy! (Source)

Did you know it takes more energy and muscles to frown than to smile? I would insert a link with stats about this little fun fact but I’m too tired to do so at the moment. So google it. Anyways, there is so much to smile about in this world and to laugh about. Yet we tend to get some caught up in the circumstances that make us cry so much more than those that can bring us tears of joy. I tend to laugh a lot because I make silly jokes to get myself through the day. You can find standup specials everywhere or if that’s not your wave watch Teletubbies (I promise you won’t stop laughing).

  1. Take a Damn Nap

Enough said. Sleep. That is all.

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I Feel You Sis! (Source)

  1. …Just Breathe

There’s a song I would hear on the radio as a kid that has always been a favorite. Basically there are times when all we need to just do is breathe. Part of embracing the skin your in is accepting your life for what it is. Now if you are trying to get to the next level you should being making strides towards that. However, it is okay to just breathe and take a break. Give yourself a break when it is necessary.

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Okay maybe not like this but you get the point…(Source)

  1. Drink Water

Look, I ain’t bout to play with you sis. Drink your damn water and go! People out here having all these different conditions and come to find out some of y’all just parched. Quench your thirst, love yourself and moisturize.

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DRINK UP SIS! Moisturize Your Insides LOL (Source)

 

 

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

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Black Blogger, Creative Writing, Featured

stuck in these damn 20-somethings

For Your Enjoyment While Reading 🙂

Remember how as a child your first real dream was to just be 18? Then your next dream was to be somewhere in your 20’s. It never really mattered the exact age but you just knew that once your hit your 20’s it would be lit asf (as fuck…for the digital age illiterates *insert eye roll emoji.* We dreamt up all the things we would have done by now. If you wouldn’t be a super famous songstress or fashion icon, at the very least you’d already been in college or have graduated by now. A doctor? Tuh, you would be one by 21 duh cause that’s how life works, right?

SIKE!

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Meanwhile most of us are living like this gif…(Source)

In your 20’s you’d be able to drink, and party to no end. You’d be privileged with all of those adult friendly fun moments that adolescence simply couldn’t afford you with. Your 20’s? You mean the “age of paradise right?” cause that’s exactly what it would be…that’s exactly what you thought it should be. But here you are. You have arrived. If you’ve been granted another birthday and landed somewhere in these 20’s you are blessed. Not too many people make it to this age or any age but out of trillions you are here.

“Your 20’s? You mean the ‘age of paradise right?’ “

So as of late I’ve had endless conversations with some of my besties, homegirls, and such about how we are feeling at this age. For myself, I am 23 years old so of course most of my friends range from about 21 and up. A recurring theme I’ve found in our conversations is one of anxious filled-depressive-fearful-sad-unfulfilled thoughts, feelings and actions. We’re either ruminating about it all on our lonesome assuming that no one else will understand or can relate. Then on the other hand we begin to get so consumed by these feelings of hopelessness. Those same thoughts and feelings soon manifest into actions which are often self destructive or harmful to others.

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How A Lot of Us Look Before Bed or At Lunch tbh (Source)

A lot of us are just starting out in these new careers, grad school, new jobs in general, new environments, and just new everything. High school may have given us some consistency and college too. We had a routine down pact with nothing to really affect it (unless of course like myself you had to keep moving from place to place during your teenage years & essentially was homeless in college so every summer you bounced from place to place….that’s a long story though).

Regardless, I had a routine and it kept me grounded and sane. For the most part I had some type of status in school. My teenage years were filled with accolades from peers, family and teachers alike. These accolades continued in college as well. For some of us, this may have never been the case but just having a schedule that worked or the freedom of adolescence gave us a certain type of peace.

Now we hit this “golden age” of I am now of age to drink and once I hit 25 I can also rent a card, fuck yes! Then once I get to my late 20s I should definitely be married. But most of all I should be happy? After all, I’m an adult now. Right? Right? Isn’t that how it works? Wait…it doesn’t work like that…does it?

NOPE! Newsflash, growing pains is still a thing and welp we are all grown up now.

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Meanwhile… (Source

There are so many expectations and assumptions for these damn 20-somethings that we over analyze every part of ourselves to see what is wrong with us. Why haven’t we gotten to the next level or step of success in academics, love, spirituality or personal development? Why are you still living at your mama’s house and you’re 26? Why hasn’t s/he proposed yet? There’s gotta be something wrong with you.

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Maybe Max had a point (Source)

Why are you still single and you are damn near 30? Hell why aren’t you dating and you’re 23? There’s got to be an issue with your approach, your style or a major flaw in your personality. Maybe your chakras ain’t right sis and you’ve got to work on readjusting them. It’s got to be something wrong with you!

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Married by 20 Something? Ha yeah right! (Source)

But in reality, it is not you. It is all of us. All of us 90’s babies, and yes even some of you 80’s babies (88-89). We all have this constant sinking feeling that we “aren’t doing enough,” or that perhaps “we’ve failed ourselves,” or even our family. You haven’t got that big white picket fence with an American standard family and a dog named Spot (yet). You’re watching everyone on your timeline get engaged, married or at the very least enter into a very serious relationship. You’re watching people at your age even buy houses or go back to school. You said you’d go back to school by 24 but you haven’t even applied (shade at myself). Anyways, once again this is not just you. It is US. All of us are here stuck in these 20-somethings trying to figure it all out. Also, just because you see people “seemingly” having their lives together does NOT mean that is a fact.

Some of us are just having kids and I know for those of you have children that transition into parenthood is quite difficult. I may not understand that struggle fully but I see it for my siblings and friends. Granted, years ago many of our parents had several kids by their 20s, our generation is slightly different. A lot of us are having children much later. Regardless, this whole idea that you should already be married, barefoot and pregnant by a certain 20-something years old is hella scary. I may not fully relate to the struggle of men but I’m sure for some of you your parents are starting to ask when you’re going to pop the big question to that special person in your life. Your mom wants grandkids damn it! Give the woman what she wants. Your dad is ready to give you endless words of advice on the road to marriage.

Everyone is waiting for YOU to get YOUR shit together. What are you waiting for?

Truth is, no matter how much you may feel that others are waiting on you to accomplish all of these things, many people actually aren’t. In fact, most of these thoughts of failure are simply misconstrued ideas we’ve been conditioned to believe must happen by or before certain age. All that is bullshit. Just like many of the shows and movies we’ve seen growing up that largely hammered in the idea of “romantic,” love being the ultimate goal. As if any other type of love is irrelevant or silly to work on.

Just because you haven’t found your “disney inspired prince charming or princess beauty,” (those terms are largely problematic btw but that was on purpose) doesn’t mean you haven’t accomplished much already. Also, there are other types of love! We need to show the beauty of all types of love, whether it be familial, platonic/friendship, or most importantly self-love.

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Friendship Love Matters Too. (Source)

This is going to sound bizarre to some people but to be quite honest for some of us just being here and making it each day alive is an accomplishment. Some of us battle with depression on the daily and it takes everything in us to keep going. Some of us are constantly targeted as threats to society based off of how freely we live our lives or simply for being born with a certain amount of melanin in our skin.

“All of us are here stuck in these 20-somethings trying to figure it all out.”

It is fucking hard out here and I came here to remind you that “you are enough,” even in all your 20-something anxious filled-depressive-fearful-sad-unfulfilled thoughts, feelings and actions. You are quite literally not alone whatsoever in this fight. This battle is not yours to fight alone. Of course we have to face our own skeletons and issues alone at a point BUT don’t hold it all in until you feel ready to break.

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Don’t Hold In Your Emotions, Get Them Out (Source)

There are many people like myself, your friends, and others you can find in an online community who are battling the same issues. We’re here ready to embrace you with open arms about the issues you’re going through. Life can be pretty hard and I know for a fact that generations before us struggled a whole lot. In fact, some may even argue that they went through more than we did. Plus, they didn’t have access to “life guides” like some of us may seem to have through blogs, vlogs and think pieces galore. But regardless of all this access to information being alive can be quite difficult to begin with. A guide won’t do much to change anything if you don’t even have the will to live or try.

But I want you to remember that we don’t have to be stuck anywhere. Not a dead end job. Not in a fucked up ass relationship. Not in a difficult ass grad school program. Not around people who don’t have our best interest at heart. We are not obligated to struggle or suffer in our 20s. We are obligated to make the best out of it. We are obligated to stop with thinking about “where we should be,” and we must learn to embrace where we are right now.

Meet yourself halfway. Give yourself some credit (you should be building credit though if you haven’t already lol….no but for real though it’s helpful for a whole lot). Anyways, we might feel stuck right now but one day we are going to look back and be like “damn my 20s were poppin’, why was I complaining again?” or if you’re like me you’ll say “man that shit sucked I would never go back to it.” (just jokes)

“But I want you to remember that we don’t have to be stuck anywhere. Not a dead end job. Not in a fucked up ass relationship. Not in a difficult ass grad school program. Not around people who don’t have our best interest at heart.”

Listen! You may feel stuck right now but there are ways to get unstuck. For starters “GET OUT YO DAMN HEAD,” cause we magnify our issues by constantly putting them at the forefront of our minds. This is not to say that you must ignore your problems but it is to say that you cannot continue to dwell on them. Give yourself a break. Drink some water. Go outside. Twerk a little, hell do something -constructive or self-care worthy- that will help you get through it but please do not ruminate over it for too long.

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Go out with your friends! Twerk somethin’ (Source)

“We are not obligated to struggle or suffer in our 20s. We are obligated to make the best out of it.”

You deserve to be filled with joy even in some of those sucky moments. Yes this sounds like a contradiction but if that’s the case, I’m a walking one and that’s cool with me.

OKAY! So this post got way longer than I thought it would be at first. But before you go, here’s a few things I want to leave with you. If you didn’t get shit else from my rambling, remember these top three things:

  1. Stop ruminating about your problems all day every day and for the love of the WorldWideWeb…STOP googling those damn articles about why this or that ain’t working out (MAYBE IT’S NOT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW OR EVER…just relax basically)

  2. You cannot find your life’s purpose or passion by constantly putting it on a measuring scale with others your age. STOP that shit like right now.

  3. You are actually really fuckin’ dope and I need you to acknowledge that.

Now, I need you all to do me a huge favor. If you read this, skimmed through or hell just liked the concept of the title please, please, please share this! If it impacted you in anyway share it! Even if it just made you giggle or smile share it 🙂

Share it on all your social media or just one at the very least. Send it as a message to a friend who’s going through something rough. I want this message to reach at least 5 people, that’ll be enough for me but if it reaches more or less I’ll still be content.

P.S. This post was largely inspired by a few close friends and you all know who you are. I’ll tag you when I share this. Also, SZA’s song 20 Something was the creative force behind this idea as well. If you haven’t heard her album CTRL by now you are doing yourself a disservice. So go stream/buy it now. 

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Queen SZA (Source )

Also, quick plugs for the show Insecure and Living Single which were used in some of my gifs above. Those are two awesome shows with a main black cast that are extremely essential for the 20 Something soul! You won’t regret indulging in them both 🙂

As always…

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

Ms. Royale

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Creative Writing, Featured, Motivation

Focus Friday #6: Unleash Your Power

So now you know what you’re good at and you’re ready to take a hold of it by both hands. You are ready to flourish! But there’s one element missing. You’re not sure how to make it all work.

Well let’s start this off in the right lane, slow ya roll. The first step should be for you to consider what are some ways that you can actually apply your craft to the world. A lot of us may think we are creative beyond belief but that doesn’t mean anything until we make it work. No movie is any good trapped within the grooves of its creator’s brain. Allow yourself to perfect your craft through daily practice. No one can know who you are or what is that you bring to the table until YOU make them notice that.

Begin to do your research to see where your niche can be applied. Perhaps there are industries in dire need of your expertise or simply based off of who you are they have a space that needs to be filled. Use that to your advantage. However, it’s okay to create your own lane from the ground up. You just have to be okay with knowing it’ll take a whole lot more work than finding an already built up company.

“No movie is any good trapped within the grooves of its creator’s brain.”

Either way there is work to be done. Unfortunately in our society the easier route is to just fall in line with all of the other workforce employees. While there is nothing wrong with that and I do believe that God grants us all a purpose wherever we are meant to be in life. I also believe that some of us are far too eccentric to remain within the 4 walls of someone else’s dream or stuck in a tight cubicle next to Jan who is obsessed with her cat Gary.

“Begin to do your research to see where your niche can be applied.”

Once we figure out what in life is our passion, we are on our way to finding our purpose in life. Then from there you can begin to flex those purpose filled muscles with pride! You can help save the world in your own way by unleashing your superpower into the world.

If you are a writer, why not start that blog or start writing that book? You’ve got to finish that book though so stick to it until it is COMPLETE (oh don’t mind me…I’m just scolding myself). If you are an athlete make sure you conditioning your body as much as possible within the limits and needs of that sport.

If you are a student…STUDY (no the word “study” is not equivalent to ST.udent DY.ing). Instead it stands for Striving To Uplift Discipline Yearly. Now that might sound weird when you first see it but really meditate on that for a second. Every single day we should be elevating our minds, bodies, and souls through the necessary means we know are good for us.

So by making sure that you are building yourself up along with your craft, by next year and every year after that you should be on a new level. If we remain on the level we are on at year 1 in year 5 then we have done ourselves a disservice. So every single year we should strive to uplift or better our discipline to focus on our craft. Make focus your main habit!

Unleash your power in the proper place. Do what you must to get what you desire and deserve.

So we’ve now established two things so far:

1) Find Your Superpower

2) Find A Place to Unleash Your Superpower

For more on what you need to in order to live in your purpose with passion stay tuned for next week’s More to Life Monday post! 🙂

PS This was initially meant to be just one post but I’m feeling like I want it to expand beyond that so make sure you check out the first part of this series by clicking here 

 

Serenity, Positive Vibes & Smiles,

 

Ms. Royale

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Featured, Monday, Motivation

More to Life Monday #4: Your Super Power

Alright let’s play a quick game, I’m going to say a word and you are going to think of the first thing that comes to mind when you see it.

Doctor

Superman

Wonderwoman

Dentist

Mechanic

Professor

Garbageman

Annnd time! Okay so I assume that for some of these the first thought that may have occurred in your mind may have easily been fear. For me it went something like this…

Doctor- Healing

Superman- Flying

Wonder Woman- Bad Ass!

Dentist- SCARY!!! Cavities 😥

Mechanic- Fixed cars

Professor- Educated

Garbageman- Helps clean

All of these titles resonate with us in different ways. For some doctors and dentists may evoke negative emotions due to past experiences. Superman and Wonder Woman are most people’s childhood super heroes so we already know that will remind us of someone who is powerful. Professors while educated can sometimes give off a negative vibe to students depending on their personality in the classroom which stands true for any educator. Mechanics and garbagemen get shit done! Usually the things we can’t or don’t care to do.

The first thought for you when seeing the word garbageman might have been “dirty,” or “smelly,” but think about it, we’re the ones who contribute to their job being so dirty and smell. So in essence we’re the smell dirty ones. Garbagemen help keep our neighborhoods clean and they don’t get the recognition that they deserve.

While all of us are going through life nit picking every possible opportunity, there are people out here taking advantage of what is already available or creating their own opportunities. You see, each one of us has the motivation to be just like all of these great people aforementioned. But, none of these achievements will simply walk up to us, tap us on the shoulder, and cradle us until we reach our success. We’ve got to reach down within our own selves and pull out that super power that keeps our dreams alive.

What is your superpower?

What keeps you up at night or crowds your mind as you are working your 8-4:30?

What is that one thing that if you weren’t paid for it, you’d do in a heartbeat?

Thought of it yet? Yes? Awesome!! Well guess what, you’ve just taken the first step of being your own superhero. Congrats to you! That thing you are so passionate about in life is your key to unlock your future, the very hoop you need to shoot ya shot in and most certainly that super power you’ve been blessed with. So what if others have a similar talent, goal or dream MAKE THAT SHIT WORK! No one can be you no matter what they do or try.

So when people ask you “If you had a superpower what would it be?” You can tell them I already have a superpower…if you’ve discovered it already that is lol…don’t start making things up. But, even if you have discovered it that doesn’t mean you have to share it with them or anyone else for that matter. Share what makes you comfortable.

So moving forward, when you find your passion I promise your purpose will follow. After all, one’s knowledge of their purpose plus activation of momentum equals power. Meaning that once you discover your purpose it is then time to find a way to add some fuel behind and get things moving.

And if anyone doubts you, remember that you are SuperPower(full) and can dispel the evil energies of haters with every step that you take into your purpose! 🙂

P.S. Stay tuned for the second part of this new You Are Super-Power(FULL) Series on this week’s Focus Friday

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

Ms. Royale

 

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Creative Writing, Featured

Are You Ok With the Struggle?

There’s always this part of me that is full of regret when it comes to my talent or creativity. I’ll think to myself well I’ll be damned folks like Keke Palmer are literally my age doing the things I’ve always desired to but I’m nowhere near their status. I really love and admire Keke by the way. She’s one of my favorite people in the industry and in general. 

Anyways, I think to myself “Man what if my family had the means while growing up to truly invest in my dreams. Where would I be?” Then I also consider “What separates me from those who dreamt it and achieved it?” Perhaps money is a thing. Perhaps it’s the connections. Perhaps it’s my lack of clear direction now as an adult. Perhaps as a child I could have been more vocal in my desire to be an actress and a writer. 

However, I must also recall that these outlandish dreams didn’t really make sense to me as a kid. I didn’t see too many fellow Haitian creative or actresses on the TV. Of course there were was Garcelle and Wyclef (two people whose talent I truly do admire) but in my direct line of vision people like me didn’t go out on a limb like using their talent for work. Rather I was accustomed to seeing my parents and other adults in my community go to their hardworking jobs simply to provide for their families. While this isn’t an issue per se, it limited my faith in a way. 

I didn’t and even still sometimes don’t believe in my ability to be different or make a career out of my dreams. Rather I become focused on simply going back to school to obtain another degree because that’s what “I’m” supposed to do. Plus it will afford me an ordinary career. 

So I get wrapped up in this world of confusion where I want to exert all my energy on manifesting my true dreams BUT also fearful those dreams aren’t stable enough to afford me an at least decent life. 

I become almost involuntarily immobile due to the focus on what can go bad. Instead of considering all the good that could come out of my attempt at success, my mind (usually caused by my depression)  helps me to fixate on the negative. 

Well that’s honestly what most creatives and humans in general struggle with. We constantly feel like we’re running out of time or that we’re not good enough so we cower in fear from even the good in life. Afraid that it’ll be ripped from our grasp as soon as we receive it. 

We fear so much that we can’t even see that before we try our dreams already die. No legend or great person in history was known for their awesome couch potato skills (don’t mind me, I’m dragging myself here). 

Every single thing in life is a process. Your birth was one, the thing before your birth was one as well (but let’s not get sidetracked here). The truth is we can’t expect to get anywhere without putting some miles in. Like the memes say, Beyoncé wasn’t built in one day! 

Folks like her put in time and effort to achieve their level of success. Whether you like her or not that’s a fact jack. So for those of us who are rushing to get somewhere, just what are we in a rush for? Trust me in life there are stop signs, red lights and hell sometimes even yellow lights cause we need to SLOW down. 

But one things for sure you should always be on green in your efforts. Always be on go! Of course there are times when you may mentally, emotionally and physically need a break BUT never stop imagining and working on how to get to the next level. 

Overall, we can’t expect to simply hop in a car and reach the next street. It may be quick to get there or it may be slow but either route will involve some sort of process. Keys gotta be in the ignition, cars gotta go from park to drive and you’ve gotta put your foot to the pedal consistently. 

Yes there’s going to be some mountains to ride around, a few potholes here, there and damn near everywhere (especially if you live in Jersey or New Orleans…ijs). But that’s all apart of your adventure to achievement. It’s cliche yes but it’s also try to say “Nothing good comes easy.” If it did we sure wouldn’t appreciate it much. Imagine walking into college the first day and getting your degree the next. Boom 4 years in 2 days, where’s the parties?? The booze?? The free food and t-shirts?? The all nighters? There’d be no stories of triumph to share. The degree wouldn’t even be worth it at that point.

So tell me, are you afraid of your struggle? If so, when are you going to stop fearing it and begin the process of appreciating it. In the words of one of my fav rappers, J. Cole, “There’s beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success.” 
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,
Ms. Royale 

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