Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Monday, Motivation

More to Life Monday’s: Realign Your Mind

There are times when negativity seems to be the easiest thing to embrace. Parts of our lives are constantly going in what we believe is the wrong direction. In other words a lot of us may feel like “we are falling apart.”

The reality of this mindset is that we are never actually falling apart. You may be in physical, emotional or mental pain but you are still here. Therefore, something along the line has gone right.

While it may be convenient to be down or sad, it’s not worth it in the long run. A lot of us are used to vibrating on a lower energy and that’s why I say it “may be convenient.” We are not used to good things or good things happening consistently. So before we even try to embrace the good, we fall into the trap of expecting and even embracing the bad. It’s as if we say to ourselves “well this may hurt but it’s familiar.”

It’s time to realign yourself with positivity. Readjust your focus on the beauty of life and less on the ugly of it. There are splendid moments happening all around us everyday and more days of splendor are on their way. However, you’ve got to be open to these opportunities without a doubt because doubt can shut those doors closed.

Don’t allow your faith to waver or you fear to overcome it. As you begin to readjust your focus and realign your mind with a higher vibration, then you will soon realize that you were never falling apart but in fact pieces of your life were falling right into place.

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale

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How-To, Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Monday, Motivation

Make 2018 Your Year of Splendor

It has officially been one whole week of 2018. I hope that you all are feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle another 365. All over social media and even in day to day conversation there’s a widely shared opinion that 2017 was straight up B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  *cue Gwen Stefani please*

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Nevertheless, for those of us who struggled, stressed, and suffered immensely whether it be mentally or physically, there is still hope. I know it sounds cliche or hell it actually is very cliche but for me a new year often provides this feeling of being washed over with the purest of waters. Perhaps that is why my favorite holiday is the New Year. I know the numbers changing on a calendar doesn’t necessarily reset your life’s conditions but you can do so by making that change yourself.

Now, while I am no longer one for resolutions I do stand firm in the idea of creating reasonable goals for yourself with real action plans set behind them. I won’t knock those who start the new year hitting the gym hard or stocking up on low carb foods from their local grocery store because that was once me. However, there were years when I actually stuck to those resolutions. The major key for the years that I did stick to my goals was that not only did I envision myself in that new space, I first embodied the person I wanted to be mentally. That mindset along with a gameplan led me to my success.

A few years back in 2011 I decided I would go full throttle on a weight loss journey which resulted in my shedding of nearly 30 pounds. Now throughout college and life post grad that weight (and then some) did return , BUT that initial success came from a few things that I would like for you to apply to your own daily routine.

First things first, discover your desire.

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What is that thing you’ve been putting off FOREVER? Yeah that thing. Yup, I know you’re thinking about it. The book you’ve been wanting to write. The credit card you’ve been wishing would be paid off. Sidenote: wishful thinking cannot and will never make bills disappear, you’ve gotta do the work. Nonetheless, I want you all to take into consideration just one thing you’d like to accomplish for 2018 and work at it like it’s your day job. Hell so many of us have jobs we don’t even like but we work at it so hard we eventually lack the desire to do what we actually want to do. Let’s begin to redirect our energy to our true desires and perhaps we can began to build wealth off of that desire.

Second thing, *ahem* GET HELP. 

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I know it sounds scary for my fellow prideful folks out there who also happen to be very fearful of appearing dependent upon others. However, let’s be real here, there comes a point in life where doing it alone isn’t worth it. One of the major keys to how I lost that weight back in 2011 is that I had accountability at home and at school. My mother helped me buy foods that were healthier and even prepared the random recipes I had found online. At school I had my best friend who was also on a weight loss journey to keep me encouraged. Right after school we’d both workout in our rooms but in order to keep ourselves in check we would call each at the start of the workout. This happened consistently on a daily basis.

“Let’s begin to redirect our energy to our true desires and perhaps we can began to build wealth off of that desire.”

You see, it’s quite simple actually to find help. It’s everywhere. As a matter of fact, even if you don’t have family or friends to keep you accountable you can find an online community. There are so many groups on Facebook that I am sure you can find one that relates to whatever it is that you are working towards. Of course not everyone is on Facebook which is why there are other platforms we can utilize to find our own tribe (i.e. Pinterest, Twitter, Tumblr etc.). So please, I urge you to find yourself a reliable accountability partner.

Third thing, create a realistic action plan.

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A lot of us go on the deep end when it comes to goal setting. We create this abundant list of what we want to do but then in the end nothing gets accomplished. Then we kick ourselves while mentally imploding in a C sharp note of “Why me?” or “I can’t do anything right.”

STOP! Just stop that dry ass pity party and self loathing celebration by jumping right into real goal setting. This can be as simple as opening a word document and writing down your goal with one step that can lead you closer to actual results. (i.e. I want to eat less sugar- Have one meal a day without any sugar in it). I picked sugar as an example because most of us are in fact addicted to it. I also chose it because that’s actually a new goal of mine.

“Just stop that dry ass pity party and self loathing celebration by jumping right into real goal setting.”

Nevertheless, start with simple tasks that can eventually add up to even more complex ones that will then lead to your goal (s) being accomplished. You can find some examples of how to create your action plan sheet by clicking here.

Whatever you do, please start slow.  Also, make sure your goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Set deadlines). Don’t rush into it or feel as if you aren’t doing well simply because you’ve just begun. I want you to keep this in mind: Success never invites the elevator to its events, but the stairs on the other hand is always its honorary guest. It takes time to flourish, and it takes to time truly elevate to the next level.

Fourth thing, be kind to yourself.

Yes there will be times when you don’t feel like sticking to your goals but you’ve got to always go back to why you started in the first place. What made you want to have that desire in the first place and why would you stop now when you are so much closer to the end than you were yesterday? Regardless, be kind to yourself and know when a break is necessary. Understand that it is okay to pace yourself. It is about finishing the race NOT rushing through it.

“Success never invites the elevator to its events, but the stairs on the other hand is always its honorary guest.”

One more thing before I go, according to numerology as well as the bible the number 8 holds great significance. Now, I’m not going to get too deep because this isn’t some sort of spiritual lesson but I do find the meaning of names/numbers to be quite intriguing. In the bible the number 8 is considered a sign of new beginnings. Others believe that the number 8 is a representation of infinity including everything good. The number 8 is also seen as a balance which represents what you’ve sown and what you will receive as a result.

Overall, 2018 can be  whatever your heart desires. This can be your year of new beginnings, infinite blessings & accomplishments. 2018 can also be your year of sowing seeds of greatness that will soon turn into goals accomplished, doors unlocked and fears defeated. At the end of the day like the rap duo Black Sheep said “The Choice Is Yours.”

 

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Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

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lifestyle blogger, Motivation

To Impact or Impress?

Upon first starting my blog two years ago I automatically felt the need to create this glorified online personality. Being the typical internet crazed millennial that I am, I basically grew up on the internet via YouTube and random blogs that I would frequent. So it only makes sense that I too would eventually venture off into the world of blogging. Nevertheless, I assumed that in order to keep the fire burning beneath my creativity I would have to amass this great following of people. But, as of late it has come to my attention that none of that matters.

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As a kid I used to pray to God that one day my writing and creativity would help save the world in some way. Obviously you can’t actually save the world from itself but you can help heal different parts of it. Anyways, I remember back in March when I began to take my blog more serious thinking to myself “Damn, who even cares what I’ve got to say?” You see, my mind was so caught up in who I could impress rather than who I could impact. That right there is one of the worst mentalities a creative or influencer of any sort can have.

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God did not bless me with the skill of writing or creativity to amass a great following of people online. God blessed me with this talent in order for me to fulfill my purpose through God’s plan. My mindset when first starting this blog was immature if anything and extremely vain.

Today, I have a small following of 60 people on this blog and honestly that to me is suffice. What more do I need if I am already impacting people? Recognition, accolades and praise on my content does nothing to fulfill God’s plan on my life. All that matters now is that I know I am putting my work out there and whoever gravitates towards my content is who will hopefully be impacted.

Overall, I want to encourage my fellow creatives to let go of the need to have a great amount of attention when it comes to your work. Of course, many of us would appreciate that following so that we can reach more people and hopefully make a profit from doing what we love. However, once financial or social capital becomes your main focus that is when you lose the true essence of who you are and the true meaning of your work.

I want to encourage you all not to lose the essence of yourself or your creative genius. Social support is nice and can be helpful financially but at the end of the day don’t sell yourself short just for attention. Aside from this blog, I began feeling the need to over emphasize my talents by being a little extra on my social media platforms. This is in part why I have taken a break from the main sites that influence me to behave as such.

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Nonetheless, throughout this social media hiatus I have reflected this very factor, I need to allow my writing to speak for itself. I don’t need to impress the world, I only need to impact it and positively to be exact.

 

 

 

Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

 

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Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Motivation

One Step At a Time

Our society today is inundated with this idea that success is just like microwaveable popcorn. I know that may sound strange upon first hearing it but really think about it. How long does it take for some instant popcorn to be made? The popcorn bag instructions usually state that it needs to be microwaved for about a minute and some change, so anywhere from 1:50-2:00 minutes. You throw your bag of popcorn in, set the cooking time, and wait for the joyful sounds of ‘pop, pop, pop’ to eventually ring in your ears and then within just a few minutes…

BOOM! Your lovely snack or college dinner is done.

Now consider this, how many us of have actually made popcorn from scratch? I sure haven’t. In fact, as I am typing this I am googling how long it takes to make homemade popcorn. In fact, how many of us have even made popcorn using a popcorn machine? *crickets*

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Popcorn Machine Goodness (Gif Source)

Exactly. Now, if you have worked in food service or residence life back in college (me) you might be familiar with how to work it or at the very least how to clean it (…me again). Either way, if you are making popcorn on the stove or via a machine it takes time. Even the process after you are done making it takes even more time. You have to wash the pan, or the different parts of the machine carefully with soap to remove residue. Let’s not forget why or how these items got dirty in the first place. Think about the oil, and salt or your seasoning of choice. All of those ingredients eventually come together to produce buildup on the pan or the machine.

Speaking of machine, prior to even using it you’ve got to heat it up for a good 3-4 minutes first and the same thing goes for the stovetop directions.  All in all in order to make popcorn it takes multiple steps for tasty results. In order for some quality popped corn you’ve got to be willing to take it slow.

Now why the in the world am I referencing all things popcorn? You clicked on this post to learn what it means to take it one step at a time, right? If not, you are on the wrong post.

Alright, alright enough with the jokes, I know they’re getting dry.

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But, on a serious note my splendid reader I know that you already understand what’s going on here because you are intelligent which is why you are here in the first place.

All day long, a good number of us get so enthralled with this idea of instant everything. Instant oatmeal, noodles, macaroni (which by the way is only good when baked & especially Caribbean style), and even instant rice (a sin in my Haitian culture to be quite honest) that we forget the essence of hard work for a tasty meal. This forgetfulness extends itself far beyond food. A prime example is this idea of success via social media. While I have no personal beef with SM, it troubles me that so many of us feel that by receiving a large number of followers, reblogs, retweets, likes etc. (the list goes on) that we are somehow validated. What really bothers me is when people use SM as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.

With that said, there are other instant privileges that have caused us to lack appreciation of a process in order to progress. Remember dial-up internet before high speed took over? I sure do. My siblings and I would have to take turns on who would make a phone call or use the internet. No in betweens.

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Good Ol Dial-Up Internet

How about Blockbuster or renting VHS tapes or DVDs from the library? Again, I do. There was no instant click of a button to Netflix. Not to mention the other irritating factor of texting which took 5-10 minutes per character and that’s me being generous.

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Blockbuster You Were So Good To Us

Nevertheless, the reason I kept bringing up popcorn earlier is because when we really think about it most of us have never tasted how good stovetop popcorn probably is. Hell, I haven’t but I have tasted fresh popcorn from a popcorn machine and it is by far way tastier than the one you just pop into the microwave. So I can only imagine what stovetop popcorn would be like once met with my tastebuds. The point is, we don’t know how its natural flavor because most of us have never taken out the time it takes to make it from scratch. We are missing that authentic taste because we aren’t willing to do what it takes to achieve that authenticity. This goes hand in hand with success and reaching your dreams. You’ve got to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and take individual steps. No rushing.

“What really bothers me is when people use SM [social media] as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.”

With that said, it’s time out for allowing social media or the climate of our society to dictate how fast or slow we go when it comes to succeeding. Every individual who we now consider to be a legend of some sort has done something legendary over a period of time. One of my favorite memes says, “Beyonce/Oprah wasn’t built in a day,” and we all know the original phrase goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Now what does Rome, Oprah and Beyonce have to do with anything I’m saying here?

Think about it, Rome was once one of the greatest empires in the world, Beyonce is now known as one of the greatest entertainers in the world (no…that is not debatable), and Oprah…well need I say more?

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Of course the list goes on of remarkable kingdoms, people, and such but you get the point. It troubles me that the generation behind me and many in my own are so obsessed with instant fame/success. All of these instantaneous moments of clout or praise are often fleeting. You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat. 15 seconds doesn’t last as long as you may expect or want it to last.

If you are in the midst of climbing the ladder to of your dreams I want you to be reminded that the longer it takes to make something usually means it will also taste way better. Fruits and vegetables are not instantly sprouted up out of the ground (maybe the GMO ones are…) but for the most part it takes the planting of a seed, care, fertile soil, water, good aim of sunlight, and most importantly it takes some time to produce these foods.

“You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat.”

Don’t be afraid of the tick tocking of any clock. Granted, we are not all allotted the same amount of time on this earth but while we are here the best way to show how much we are grateful for this time is by enjoying it now. Go in the direction of where your heart is pulling you and work for whatever it is that you are passionate about. If you haven’t quite found that passion yet, check out your hobbies and what genuinely excites you. Eventually you will find something that will help to fulfill you.

Regardless of what you choose to go for in life, remember that instant success is bland just like instant rice. You want your success to have some spices in it, a good sturdy pot to hold it, and a good amount of time coupled with the right amount of heat to cook it right to perfection. Yum, now that’s what I call a meal!

Today’s Takeout (formerly *takeaway)

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  1. True success tastes better when cooked for a while.

  2. Popcorn also tastes better when cooked  for a while.

  3. Validation is even more valid when sought from within.

  4. It is more important to focus on longevity when it comes to success as opposed to focusing on instant and possibly fleeting moments of success. 

 

 

If you enjoyed this read or want to add to the conversation please do NOT hesitate to comment below. Make sure to share this with friends, family coworkers, associates, exes, besties, and anyone else who may need a word of encouragement. Until next time splendid readers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

 

 

 

 

Ms. Royale

 

 

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Inspirational Quotes, lifestyle blogger, Motivation

Live Your Best Life RIGHT Now!

Throughout this past year I’ve been on a self discovery like no other. I’ve learned to appreciate and see value in parts of my life I had once never seen. I’ve learned the true power of positive thinking and activated the law of attraction into my life. There’s so much more I could dish out to you about my improved mindset but I want this to be about you, splendid reader.

If you can allow yourself to get caught up in some of the atrocities of this world it will hinder you from a lot which is why learning how to focus more on the positivity that exists is so important. Of course there are times when we need to address issues for what they are but don’t forget to embrace the blessings, big and small.

Just last month I visited Mexico and as mentioned in my last Focus Friday Post I lost my wallet. Unfortunately I went crazy for about two days straight thinking it was left at the airport there but the following Sunday night I received an email from the airline that it was actually found at the airport back here in the states.

You see, when I focused all of my energy on the issue in that moment it wasn’t at all helpful. I did what it is that I needed to do which was follow proper protocols such as filing a report and such. However, even after doing all that I still felt the need to panic as if that would make it all better. Well, it didn’t but you knew that splendid reader because you are super smart (hence how you stumbled upon this blog and this post).

I want to keep this short and sweet for you so I need you to pay close attention here. Our energy in life is extremely sacred and it is up to each individual to be safe keepers of their own energy. When we allow ourselves to exert so much energy and devote copious amounts of time in the direction of what we don’t want, then we are preventing good things from coming our way. For some folks this idea is called “blocking your blessings,” or for others they say “you are getting in your own way.”

“Our energy in life is extremely sacred and it is up to each individual to be safe keepers of their own energy.”

With all that said, I realized that in the moment that my wallet went missing I immediately blocked the blessing of its return to me. I panicked, freaked out cried, and kept calling the airport back in Mexico. I even made a whole list of numbers to call from both airports. I googled the different department numbers and such. Granted, yes it made sense to reach out and make reports. However, when I look back on the way that I went about it, I became obsessive.

By the time Sunday evening came around a few days after I lost my wallet, I had already settled into the idea that finding it was no longer a concern. I came to terms with the fact that after all the wallet and its contents are replaceable. So in my mind I remained hopeful but also realized excessively ruminating on the matter wouldn’t do me any good. Thus, I allowed the universe to bring me whatever it was that I had manifested through previous good deeds and actions towards others. There have been several times throughout college where I found lost student ID’s and I immediately found a way to reach out to these individuals. Then during Mardi Gras this year back in New Orleans a man had dropped his license and I automatically picked up trying to find a way to get it back to him. Thankfully he had already started to walk back towards the area he had lost it. Of course on all of these occasions I was thanked abundantly.

“So in my mind I remained hopeful but also realized excessively ruminating on the matter wouldn’t do me any good.”

While this may sound bizarre to some, I truly do believe the universe and God blessed me enough to find my wallet. Rather than sitting around solely concerned with how life could get better for me, I allowed it to simply get better as a result of what I had already worked for. You see, living your best life isn’t about working yourself to the bone in an effort to make it. Don’t get me wrong, there is work to be done but you need to know when it is time to sit back and receive what life has in store for you.

So now, splendid reader tell me again what is holding you back from living your best or most splendid life? Are you blocking your blessings by thinking too much about how to get those blessings in the first place? Are you focused on the wrong things or consumed in negativity?

“You see, living your best life isn’t about working yourself to the bone in an effort to make it.”

If you are consumed in negativity, it is important for you to think of ways to remove yourself from that space. One of the ways I did so was by taking a social media hiatus from specific sites that usually put me in a troubled mindset. One of the ways I’ve allowed blessings to flow straight to me is by doing the work and moving on. Once you’ve done what you need to do for a situation it is okay to move on (i.e. my wallet story). In essence, as cliche as it is, I have been the sole blessing blocker of myself by focusing my energy in places that it didn’t need to be.

Nevertheless, in order for you to live your best life you’ve got to put yourself into that mindset first. Being consumed in negativity, being caught up with people who hold you back or in circumstances that stunt your growth is not the way to live your best life.

Today’s Takeaway

  1. Our energy is too sacred to continuously focus on what is troubling us, so focus your energy more on what you want versus what you don’t want.

  2. Do the work and move forward which will allow the blessings to flow your way.

  3. Remove yourself from negative situations as much as possible (i.e. people, jobs, social media etc.).

  4. Be prepared for blessings 

Serenity, Smiles, & Positive Vibes,

Ms. Royale

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Creative Writing, Featured, Motivation

Focus Friday: Losing to Gain Wisdom

As a “millennial,” I do believe I’ve been plagued by the “instant,” bug. I want it all and I want it all now. Granted my patience has been tested and without a doubt will continue to be tested  throughout my life. However, I still attempt to be in total control of the situations that occur in my life. Yet time and time again God and the universe remind me that the only control I can truly have is of self.

Aside from that there isn’t much I can do about outside or random circumstances. Of course I play a part in my present and future. I’ve also played a major part in my past but unfortunately there are things such as death for example that are inevitable no matter how much we attempt to delay it.

Yet time and time again God and the universe remind me that the only control I can truly have is of self. 

The other day after traveling all the way from Mexico and back to the northeast I noticed something had gone extremely wrong. On my way to pick up some food with my good friend Cala, I noticed my wallet wasn’t where I had assumed it to be. After dumping out the contents of my bag onto her car floor I broke down crying realizing that my wallet had more than likely been lost in the airport back in Mexico.

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I panicked like most would but the next morning I allowed myself to reflect logically. Not only am I privileged to have had the funds to travel to Mexico but I also landed there safely and returned home safely as well. There are so many unfortunate situations that take place when people travel internationally and nationally alike. Some people are robbed, physically attacked or worse. But not only did my friends and I enjoy ourselves, we also did that safely. Granted it’ll be a pain to wait patiently to see whether my wallet will be found and of course the process to replace those items will be irritating if necessary but at the end of the day I simply lost a thing not a life or person.

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So what does all of this even mean?

Things are replaceable. People are not. There’s this Drake line that goes “Wish you would learn to love people and use things.” Although not completely related to this subject, whenever I hear that line I am reminded that human life is way more valuable than tangible items. We complain about circumstances that can very well be adjusted with time, patience and work. A lot of us are afraid of all three of these things and the rest of us are too lazy to do the work. Then on the flip side, some of us hate not being able to turn the wheels immediately in favor of what we think we need and want in that moment. We want control. In fact our brains trick us into thinking that we need control.

Things are replaceable. People are not.

Losing my wallet really sucks, in fact it sucks a whole lot! Especially being in the current living situation that I am in, it won’t be an easy process to obtain some of my lost contents. However, while losing it was out of my control, gaining back what I lost is now under my control. Being someone who is extremely careful and responsible when it comes to important documents I am still baffled at how it went missing. But, it is not up to me to ruminate on the how’s and/or whys of it all. Instead it’s better I focus on solutions on how to retrieve it back or replace it.

Most of the steps needed have already been completed so the next thing I need to do is wait, be positive and continue going on about my life as normal.

These things happen. People lose things but people also lose loved ones. Yet I am blessed to say the latter did not occur.

We want control. In fact our brains trick us into thinking that we need control.

While this is unfortunate I am also reminded that things are replaceable and people are not. I am also reminded that God and the universe continue to find ways to teach me big lessons in small situations. Last year when I winded up in the hospital about 2 days before my college graduation I thought life was over. That thought was a lie. In fact, that experience was the cherry on top of my graduation.

I am continually being taught that I cannot control all external factors yet I still come back to this mentality that somehow I can. Regardless, no matter how much I may think I lose, in actuality I always win. I may lose tangible things but I gain intangible wisdom and life lessons to share with others around me. Overall, I thought I lost but I actually gained more wisdom than I had prior to this trip. Perhaps it’s not necessary to bring multiple forms of ID on an international trip or have them all in one place. So the next time I travel I will definitely be more prepared.

 

P.S. In the words of Fantasia…

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Thank you for reading! 🙂

If you’ve enjoyed this piece, make sure to let me know in the comments below. Have you ever lost something? If so, how did you react or did you just keep your cool. 

Also, although I didn’t specifically include it in my post if you have any tips on how to keep your cool in a situation as mine, please do share it below as well. I am sure other readers will benefit. 
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 
Ms. Royale

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Black Blogger, Inspirational Quotes, Motivation

30 Days of Me Challenge: Day 27- The Reason

Today’s Topic: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

I’ve probably mentioned this in prior posts but I started this challenge to build my consistency within my blog. When I first began taking my blog more serious I built a schedule around it with several topics for each week. However, I quickly realized that I was doing the absolute most. After attending a bloggers conference back in August I also realized something, I am way too eccentric to have my blog centered on one thing. One of the sessions I attended heavily focused on this idea of a “nicheless blog,” so I took that idea and have been thinking about it for a while now. I used this challenge as a way to see how it feels to navigate from topic to topic on a daily basis without one set idea or theme. I just wanted to see how it would feel and as aforementioned remain consistent. Although I did skip a few days and then backdate the posts later, I still made sure to hit every topic. So thanks to this challenge I’ve broke the status quo of my blog just being an inspirational blog, it’s nicheless but the underlying theme will always be to inspire others in some way.

 

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Featured, Motivation, Self-Care

Focus Friday: You Are Not Burdensome…You Are a Blessing

Do you ever feel as if you are a burden to others in some way?

I hope and pray your answer to this is no BUT if it is not, that is okay. I have felt that way for most my life and the great news is that we are not alone. (Come on now, you know misery loves company.)

Alright let’s get serious here. As a child I often had this strange feeling that I was in some way a burden to others. This feeling of being burdensome extended from friends to family. While no one in particular ever expressed that I was a burden to them, somehow deep down inside I always felt that way anyways. As I matured into a young woman this feeling of being burdensome grew right alongside me and followed me into the relationships I formed with men and platonic friendships as well. No matter how much other people have attempted to convince me otherwise, in my head it was always this idea that I held others down (and not in a ride or die kind of way).

FYI: This post isn’t going to be some major “Here’s how I got over it,” story, but it is meant to be an outlet for others who may feel the same.

In recent conversation with someone close to me I had to be reminded of the beauty that exists within having loved ones around who are there to support you. As an individual who has a lot of pride, is EXTREMELY independent, and who enjoys being fully self-sufficient it is difficult for me to be vulnerable or anyway dependent on others. However, within the past year it appears the recurring theme God is revealing to me is the need for “transparency,” and “vulnerability.”

Sometimes it is actually okay to depend on others. This does not in any way make you a leech or a horrible person (unless of course you can provide for yourself but choose to use others but that’s another story). So, no matter how much I desire to be completely independent, unfortunately in life that’s impossible. There will be a point in time when we all will need help from someone or somewhere. When those times come we shouldn’t assume that we are being a burden to others.

We are all in this world together with different strengths and different weaknesses. We are supposed to help lift others up as we also climb and vice versa. There is never a reason you should ever feel as if your existence or mere presence is a burden on others. By definition the word burden means “a load, especially a heavy one,” and burdensome means “difficult to carry out or fulfill.” Now when you see those two definitions side by side, does that sound like something that can be applied to a person and more importantly does that sound like it applies to you in the least bit? I know when I read it; it most certainly does not define me or my existence.

“There will be a point in time when we all will need help from someone or somewhere.”

I want you to really think about the aforementioned definitions, “Am I a load? Am I difficult to carry?” While we may all have our emotional and mental baggage, none of that is too difficult for us to carry when we have the proper support. Now if we choose to carry it all on our own then I can understand a feeling of heaviness within ourselves. But, this is why we need to be open to being more vulnerable with those who we trust.

“There is never a reason you should ever feel as if your existence or mere presence is a burden on others.”

Now, I know we may not all have someone in our corner directly so perhaps reaching out to strangers (yes strangers) might be helpful. There are hotlines or now even apps where you can reach out to volunteers and professionals that will help you sort through issues you may not be able to sort through with family or friends. Nevertheless, I want you to understand that you and I, we all come with our own personal issues but we also come with just as many solutions for this world. You may not feel it or see it now but you help move the world forward every single day.

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This quote resonates so much with this topic but it is not a quote of my own. Source

We contribute just as much to this world as the next person does. It may not be regarded as grand as the Oprah’s, Obama’s, or even Beyoncé’s of the world but it still damned good. We all have our individual purposes in this world and if you are a believer you know that God sent you to earth with an assignment specifically designed for you. So whenever you begin to view yourself as a burden in anyway, please remember that you are needed, necessary and most certainly NOT a load for someone to carry. We have burdens in life but we are NOT burdensome. We should be allowed to take up space and fill this world with all of our awesomeness. You have a space in this world and you have a place designated just for you.

With that said, I want you all to keep these main points in mind:

1) You are in NO way a burden

2) You deserve to take up space in this world

3) You have a place & purpose on earth

4) You are a blessing to others

5) Sometimes we need support & that is okay

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

Ms. Royale

 

P.S. For those who may not be comfortable with reaching out to family or friends about any feelings of being burdensome or any other issues below are a few links of helpful resources.

TalkSpace (An app for therapy on iOS and Android)

 BetterHelp

MentalHelp.net

PsychCentral

 

 

 

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Inspirational Quotes, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Care

Focus Friday: Being OK With Losing CTRL

Most of us are caught up in this mindset that to lose means you have failed. Anytime you don’t find yourself catching that “W”  your mind automatically shifts to this assumption that everything has gone to shit. BUT truth is, it has not. If we could just realize that sometimes when we lose, we are actualling winning in another realm. 

What if every time you lost something your mindset shifted instead to this idea that “Damn, I’m this much closer to winning exactly what I want,” or “I am so glad I lost that because now there is less clutter and I’ve made room for more wins to gravitate my way.” Perhaps most of us are fearful that when we lose one thing or person we’re closer to losing everything. However, the truth is life can’t possibly allow us to store everything we have had or every one person that we have encountered. It would simply be impossible and not to mention it would take up too much space. 

So when we lose we are constantly reminded that we are not in control. No, this does NOT mean we are out of control. I truly believe that’s where the fear creeps in from. This idea that we cannot dictate or direct a situation in our favor. We instantly think “What did I do?” or “What can I do?” While it is amazing to be solution oriented the last question usually is associated with feeling like we’ve got all the power to fix or gain what we’ve lost. 

While you do have power, unfortunately you do not have the power that God or the Universe has. So we must get to a point where we understand that control isn’t in our hands or at least not completely.

So now you may be wondering “Well if I don’t have control or power then what do I have?” I’m glad you asked! The power that you do have is the power to control your mindset. Is it set on negativity ALL the time or are you at least trying to focus that energy somewhere else…like somewhere positive? If not, perhaps it’s time that you try to do so. 

Granted, like I always say some of us are more prone to negative thoughts due to mental illness. With that said, this is sometimes more difficult to process. Trust me, I’m there with you and I truly understand. It’s easy for someone who hasn’t experienced what we have to say “Just get over it,” or “Just don’t think about it.” It is not that easy and probably won’t ever be. 

Nevertheless, whether you’ve experienced mental illness or not it is important for you to find what works for you when focusing your energy. Maybe start a journal, talk to a trusted friend or family member about the ways they cope. Do some research on it or just do nothing. Yes I said do nothing. Take a moment to breathe, and relax then get back on trying to focus your energy and your mindset on positivity. 

Regardless of how it is done (in a constructive way of course), we must understand that we cannot control every part of our life but we can damn sure try to change how we think, how we react and ultimately manage how we feel. Notice I said “manage.” You can manage how you are feeling by accepting what has happened as truth because that’s what has happened in the physical. But, as mentioned earlier what we see in the physical doesn’t mean there isn’t something grater in another realm (spiritual, universal) that is taking place & working for us in our favor.

So yes, we cannot control everything but we can at least try to control how we think about what we cannot control. Losing is inevitable but winning isn’t impossible. It’s possible to win again even after a streak of losing. 
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,
Ms. Royale 

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Creative Writing, Featured, Motivation

Focus Friday #6: Unleash Your Power

So now you know what you’re good at and you’re ready to take a hold of it by both hands. You are ready to flourish! But there’s one element missing. You’re not sure how to make it all work.

Well let’s start this off in the right lane, slow ya roll. The first step should be for you to consider what are some ways that you can actually apply your craft to the world. A lot of us may think we are creative beyond belief but that doesn’t mean anything until we make it work. No movie is any good trapped within the grooves of its creator’s brain. Allow yourself to perfect your craft through daily practice. No one can know who you are or what is that you bring to the table until YOU make them notice that.

Begin to do your research to see where your niche can be applied. Perhaps there are industries in dire need of your expertise or simply based off of who you are they have a space that needs to be filled. Use that to your advantage. However, it’s okay to create your own lane from the ground up. You just have to be okay with knowing it’ll take a whole lot more work than finding an already built up company.

“No movie is any good trapped within the grooves of its creator’s brain.”

Either way there is work to be done. Unfortunately in our society the easier route is to just fall in line with all of the other workforce employees. While there is nothing wrong with that and I do believe that God grants us all a purpose wherever we are meant to be in life. I also believe that some of us are far too eccentric to remain within the 4 walls of someone else’s dream or stuck in a tight cubicle next to Jan who is obsessed with her cat Gary.

“Begin to do your research to see where your niche can be applied.”

Once we figure out what in life is our passion, we are on our way to finding our purpose in life. Then from there you can begin to flex those purpose filled muscles with pride! You can help save the world in your own way by unleashing your superpower into the world.

If you are a writer, why not start that blog or start writing that book? You’ve got to finish that book though so stick to it until it is COMPLETE (oh don’t mind me…I’m just scolding myself). If you are an athlete make sure you conditioning your body as much as possible within the limits and needs of that sport.

If you are a student…STUDY (no the word “study” is not equivalent to ST.udent DY.ing). Instead it stands for Striving To Uplift Discipline Yearly. Now that might sound weird when you first see it but really meditate on that for a second. Every single day we should be elevating our minds, bodies, and souls through the necessary means we know are good for us.

So by making sure that you are building yourself up along with your craft, by next year and every year after that you should be on a new level. If we remain on the level we are on at year 1 in year 5 then we have done ourselves a disservice. So every single year we should strive to uplift or better our discipline to focus on our craft. Make focus your main habit!

Unleash your power in the proper place. Do what you must to get what you desire and deserve.

So we’ve now established two things so far:

1) Find Your Superpower

2) Find A Place to Unleash Your Superpower

For more on what you need to in order to live in your purpose with passion stay tuned for next week’s More to Life Monday post! 🙂

PS This was initially meant to be just one post but I’m feeling like I want it to expand beyond that so make sure you check out the first part of this series by clicking here 

 

Serenity, Positive Vibes & Smiles,

 

Ms. Royale

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Featured, Monday, Motivation

More to Life Monday #4: Your Super Power

Alright let’s play a quick game, I’m going to say a word and you are going to think of the first thing that comes to mind when you see it.

Doctor

Superman

Wonderwoman

Dentist

Mechanic

Professor

Garbageman

Annnd time! Okay so I assume that for some of these the first thought that may have occurred in your mind may have easily been fear. For me it went something like this…

Doctor- Healing

Superman- Flying

Wonder Woman- Bad Ass!

Dentist- SCARY!!! Cavities 😥

Mechanic- Fixed cars

Professor- Educated

Garbageman- Helps clean

All of these titles resonate with us in different ways. For some doctors and dentists may evoke negative emotions due to past experiences. Superman and Wonder Woman are most people’s childhood super heroes so we already know that will remind us of someone who is powerful. Professors while educated can sometimes give off a negative vibe to students depending on their personality in the classroom which stands true for any educator. Mechanics and garbagemen get shit done! Usually the things we can’t or don’t care to do.

The first thought for you when seeing the word garbageman might have been “dirty,” or “smelly,” but think about it, we’re the ones who contribute to their job being so dirty and smell. So in essence we’re the smell dirty ones. Garbagemen help keep our neighborhoods clean and they don’t get the recognition that they deserve.

While all of us are going through life nit picking every possible opportunity, there are people out here taking advantage of what is already available or creating their own opportunities. You see, each one of us has the motivation to be just like all of these great people aforementioned. But, none of these achievements will simply walk up to us, tap us on the shoulder, and cradle us until we reach our success. We’ve got to reach down within our own selves and pull out that super power that keeps our dreams alive.

What is your superpower?

What keeps you up at night or crowds your mind as you are working your 8-4:30?

What is that one thing that if you weren’t paid for it, you’d do in a heartbeat?

Thought of it yet? Yes? Awesome!! Well guess what, you’ve just taken the first step of being your own superhero. Congrats to you! That thing you are so passionate about in life is your key to unlock your future, the very hoop you need to shoot ya shot in and most certainly that super power you’ve been blessed with. So what if others have a similar talent, goal or dream MAKE THAT SHIT WORK! No one can be you no matter what they do or try.

So when people ask you “If you had a superpower what would it be?” You can tell them I already have a superpower…if you’ve discovered it already that is lol…don’t start making things up. But, even if you have discovered it that doesn’t mean you have to share it with them or anyone else for that matter. Share what makes you comfortable.

So moving forward, when you find your passion I promise your purpose will follow. After all, one’s knowledge of their purpose plus activation of momentum equals power. Meaning that once you discover your purpose it is then time to find a way to add some fuel behind and get things moving.

And if anyone doubts you, remember that you are SuperPower(full) and can dispel the evil energies of haters with every step that you take into your purpose! 🙂

P.S. Stay tuned for the second part of this new You Are Super-Power(FULL) Series on this week’s Focus Friday

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

Ms. Royale

 

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