Black Blogger, Featured, Love

30 Days of Me Challenge: Day 13- Letter to Mr. Unappreciative

Today’s challenge was really difficult for me to write. All day at work I considered writing a letter to my 15 year old self instead but once I got home I realized that this was important for healing purposes. The challenge called for me to “Write a letter to someone who hurt [me] recently.” So I decided to go with an individual who I had considered to be a good friend of mine some time ago but things went sour real quick (actually it was a process but still).

Now this letter isn’t to talk down on them in anyway but it’s just the remnants of feelings that I have about the situation. I can honestly say that I am proud I didn’t cry throughout the duration of writing this letter even while listening to SZA. Below is the song that I listened to and for those who aren’t hip to her yet please do yourself a favor and listen while you read.

Welp here goes nothing, I guess this will be like my “Dear John,” letter or Aaliyah’s “4 Page Letter,” except it’s like 4 paragraphs…alright anyways I’m stalling, just go read it!

 

 

Dear Mr. Unappreciative,

 

 

You were all that I wanted and more. You were all that I thought I needed but actually less. You were just right for those moments when I just couldn’t bring myself to validate my beauty or my worth. You were just right for me to call when I couldn’t stand my own company and only yours gave me confirmation that I was desired. I needed you to cover up parts of me that I thought would remain untouched for life. My thirst for your quench superseded my ability to think straight. My better judgement died every single time our lips met. The closer I got to you, the further away my brain seemed to travel. 

But, none of that mattered to you. None of it ever meant a damn thing because after all you told me what it was from the jump. I chose to ignore your siren signals by speeding off into the dark with no clear vision of where my next exit would be. Every time I got my legs to refrain from remaining comatose, again access to me was granted. Ignore me, diss me, hide me, take a bite of me and discard me from your mouth as if I were spoiled rotten. No matter how hard I pushed and pulled, none of that could’ve reversed the crash. I wanted to give you something that I didn’t even have the strength to give myself. 

So now, even though I don’t think of you as often I will say one thing, I’ve finally gotten to the point where I no longer hate you or hate what we had. Hate is a strong word. I thought I’d never feel that towards anyone but at one point I seriously did. I hated how anxious I had become over your antics. I hated how I allowed myself to get stuck to the hive of your monstrous lies. I hated that you told me exactly who you were to my face but of course I remained, where else could I have gone? 

When I think about you, I often time travel to when we were “just friends,” and how that little crush I had on you could’ve remained “just that.” But, of course I wouldn’t allow it. I wanted what I wanted and I would get what I wanted too. The mix between a hopeless romantic, a go getter and slight man-eater at the same time. As much as I’ve always enjoyed the sight of gold, you knew that I was truly diggin’ on you, diggin’ on you like TLC sang. Eventually time ran out and the referee of life rang that bell. I guess what I really want to say is that the thing that hurt me the most is that I truly believed our friendship was a solid foundation. It was genuine or at least it felt that way. But, once things took a turn and you literally shit on my name to others I felt that wound of betrayal open up in the middle of my back. That shit really fucking hurt. It felt as if I were caught up in the matrix for real. If I we were to ever revisit this conversation, I’d only want to know “Did you ever value our friendship prior?” That is all. 

But anyways, as you know we finally crashed but did not burn. I guess those 3 times we spoke afterwards was indeed closure. I’m assuming all is well with you and I really do hope it is. Sometimes I do miss our conversations and the dumb shit we’d say that made one another laugh. Funny that sometimes I think to myself that this was all my fault. I allowed attraction to become such a fuckin’ distraction that my priorities couldn’t even get me in order. I do appreciate the memories & I’ll never forget that one piece of advice you give me in regards to relationships. LOL funny you were giving me advice on that and vice versa. Man, we were two hurt ass people simply colliding like particles in a test tube of pure confusion.

I guess it’s now I’m realizing we both weren’t shit just in different ways. I refused to be honest with my intentions and you well…you were just being yourself. You’ve got a lot of maturing to do but we both knew that already. Regardless, I really do hope you’re doing well and that you’re reaching some type of level of maturity that will curb your desire to manipulate women. I know that’s a sore spot to hit but we discussed it almost all the time and you know it.

 

Splendidly Yours,

 

Ms. Royale  

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This challenge is a little difficult for readers to respond to but if you have anyone on your heart that you would like to write a letter to, I encourage you to do so. It’s refreshing to reflect sometimes when you’re in the position to do so of course. You don’t have to send the letter to them but just write or type it out. Delete it, throw it away or whatever it is that you need to do.

Is there anyone you would write a Dear John letter to? Just comment yes or no.

 

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Creative Writing, Featured, Love, Short Stories

SatDay Shorts 1: A Collection of Short Stories

Welcome to the first part of the Monthly Series: SatDay Shorts: A Collection of Short Stories!

Short Stories are simply stories that one writes with no intentions of engaging in tedious amounts of editing, extended jargon, or novel length requirements. A short story is pretty much what it says in the name, it is SHORT.

Most short stories don’t go beyond a word count of 1,500 to 30,000. In the launching of SatDay Shorts, I will share a short story of mine written during my Creative Writing class back in college.

Throughout the next few weeks this is what you will see displayed on my blogs. Some stories will be specific to my Haitian culture so be prepared to learn some Creole (with translations of course) and be invited more into my life by way of my writing.

Today’s short story has a very interesting plot which I vividly recall classmates inquiring whether or not this was a true story. Welp, it is up to your interpretation.

Author: Sophonie Milord

Original Publishing Date: 4/10/2014

You May Now…Run & Hide

Thursdays have always been peculiar days to me. As a kid, the most boring shows were played on Thursdays. Anyways, at this particular time in my adolescence, myself and a few family members were now living in North Carolina. We now lived in a two-story home, which was completely unlike the multi family apartment buildings were used to when we used to live in West Philly. This house was more built to be a home. I was almost finished with middle school and man was I psyched because next year I would be entering high school. Alright, so there were two dogs, my sister’s Labrador and pit, Bella and my puppy Teddy. My dog was also a Labrador and a pit, and so it looked like a smaller and darker version of the beloved Bella. My mother had adopted Teddy from one of her coworkers. I’m not exactly sure but I think Teddy came home on a Thursday. 

Thursdays were also the days that my sister had choir practice. In those days church was the staple activity of our lives, my life especially. Church was where I found hope in humanity and in life.

“You should come to rehearsal one day with me,” my sister once said.

“No way, you know I only go to practice if the other girls from the dance team are there. Without them, I’d sit there all awkwardly and you know I hate that.” I said.

She never brought it up again. Neither of us did. That was of course until I began speaking to the church drummer-boy to be exact. He and I began texting almost everyday. So on one of those days he texted me.

Sup. I beamed at the glow, that came from his name flashing across the screen.

Nothing much. I replied.

It was a Thursday and my sister was preparing for choir rehearsal.

Let’s meet up. He replied. He and I both knew that we would be the only two members of the youth group there. I agreed and planned out my outfit for the night. A light blue pair of skinny jeans and a pale pink polo shirt.

“He wants me to come to rehearsal tonight.” I said to my sister.

She gave me a confused look.

“Oh so now you want to go to choir rehearsal.” She said.

I shrug. “Well that’s what I said, wasn’t it?” I probably didn’t say that exact line because in actuality my sister would have ripped me a new one.

“Alright, alright. Be ready by 6:00.” She said.

Later on that day, she and I hopped into her blue Toyota Corolla. We arrived at church in about ten minutes. We greeted other choir members and I took a seat in the front pew. Rehearsal started off in acapella, so the musicians had time to arrive if they were going to be late. While nobody else was watching I made my way to the back of the church to the medium sized youth room. There I saw him with his phone still in his right hand. The light tapped danced on his caramel skin and I quickly glanced at his succulent rose colored lips.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly.

“Hey.” He said. I looked down at my pink flats, and adjusted my hot pink headband on my curled hair. My pale pink shirt and his white polo seemed to complement one another.

“You look really pretty,” he said. He smoothed his hand over the back of his head nervously after saying that. 

I smiled, and glanced down towards my shoes again. “Thank you.”

We sat down for a while and talked about nearly everything that had happened to us that week. We both agreed middle school was awful, as most pre-teens do, and we were equally ready for 9th grade to start.

I looked towards the window and took note of the moon now gracing the sky’s stage. Had we been back here this long already? The stars were so much more visible here then they were back in Philly.

“Wow, the sky is so much more different out here.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed and giggled, “It’s gonna sound stupid.”

He chuckled, “No it won’t, just say it.”

“Pinky promise you won’t laugh?”

“Promise!” He said.

I stretched out my pink towards his and he did the same.

“Okay, well here you can actually see the stars and it’s like I never realized just how beautiful the sky is.”

He remained silent. “See, told you it was stupid.” I covered my face with my hands until I felt him slowly remove them one at a time. He had this small grin plastered across his lips.

“Should we go outside?” He asked.

“Umm s–sure.” I stuttered a bit. What the heck is wrong with me? I don’t even stutter. Anyways, the two of us exited the youth room and went outside. I looked away quickly from the sky because something about it reminded me of God’s saving grace. I shouldn’t have been doing what I already planned to do there, especially not behind the church where I was recently baptized at. Conviction filled the air and me all at once.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” He asked me.

“Nope,” I said.

He smiled and rubbed his hands together like the sly fox he turned out to be.

“Well I guess I’ll have to be your first.” He said.

We stood only a few inches away from each other and he pulled me in closer with his slender long arms. Butterflies attacked the pits of my stomach and they seemed to start a 5k race in there too. Mentally I exploded with bursts of bright yellow rays of ecstasy. I tapped my right foot in a nervous tempo as our lips pressed firmly together like a merengue dance. I enjoyed the closeness because his clothes smelt really fresh. It must have been laundry day for sure. Anyways, his tongue did a foxtrot in my mouth and my tongue obliged to the dance request. Oh Jesus! Is he about to swallow my face?

He and I are now engaged in a full blown make out session. Yup, right there outside of my church. Instantly, I hear the arrival of a car making its way into the parking lot. We separate from one another and I notice our pastor and his wife’s red Range Rover pulling up. “Run!” He says and pulls my wrist. I quickly wipe my mouth before he could see. We’re inside before they could see us or so we thought. But honestly until this day, I still have no clue whether they saw us or not. Regardless, Thursdays are still peculiar to me but since my first kiss they’ve always remained quite scandalous.

 

(Maury voice) So in the case of You May Now…Run & Hide is it a true story or not? Comment below, share, like, subscribe and read again 🙂

Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes to all,

Ms. Royale

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Featured, feminism, feminist, Love, Monday, Monday: MamaDay Motivation, Motivation, Self-Care

More to Life Mondays/MamaDay Motivation

Along with the other weekly posts will be More to Life Mondays and MamaDay Motivation. These days will be interchangeable for every other Monday. For the days called More to Life, posts will primarily focus on giving people hope, motivation and inspiration to take life to another level.

MamaDay is meant to be a play on the holiday Mother’s Day which, as we all know, comes once a year. Technically everyday should be a day of celebration for dedicated parents and especially mothers. However, we understand how holidays work so this will be a bi-weekly reminder that mamas should be celebrated more often. All MamaDay posts will center around women who are mothers, both biologically or not, who have helped shaped the world through their humanitarian efforts.

Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes to all,

Ms. Royale

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Inspirational Quotes, Love, Motivation, Quotes, Self-Care

Introduction to #FocusFridays

In an effort to help readers to find a peace of mind whenever they take a digital stroll of S.I.S., Focus Fridays are a time to help readjust one’s overall focus on life. After a long week we can lose sight of our goal or our vision. Fridays are also those days where a lot of us feel this sense of relief and we might be ready to just party our weekend away. I know I sure did when I taught at a middle school once upon a time.  Anyways every Friday or at the very least every other Friday, articles, blog posts, quotes and videos related to the different aspects of how to focus on the positive factors that exists within one’s life will be posted here. I hope that this helps everyone who comes across it.

Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes to all,

Ms. Royale

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