…here’s how to make it suck less.
Yeah, yeah I know this blog is meant to uplift people and inspire them throughout their day BUT I feel I’d be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t offer up some raw unedited feelings from time to time.
I’ve discussed this in previous posts and I’m sure I’ll do so in more posts. However, it’s been on my heart lately. Dealing with depression as a writer & creative is seriously draining to my art. Depression for anyone I’m sure is draining but as a writer we get a lot of our best work done in times of solitude. This need to be alone can appear as if we are pushing others away and sometimes that can be the case. However, there are other times when we simply don’t want to burden others with our feelings of depression or simply can’t bear to be around others. I know that sounds like a lot and well that’s because it is.
I for one appreciate being alone or in my own space more than anything just because of who I am overall. In fact, if I had a mansion to myself & I had family or friends over from time to time, after a while you would probably find me chilling in the guest house on my lonesome to get a breath from others. But that is just my introverted nature to do so. Perhaps that also attributes to my depression but we can talk about that another time.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and personal development. One of the recurring themes is that “we control our lives, moods and emotions.” To a certain extent I do find this to be true. Often times it’s our reaction that causes more stress than anything. However, I feel like a hypocrite when trying to adapt these ideologies to my life when I’ve suffered with this since I was at least 11 years old. Now what triggered the onset is debatable and I’m not sure that I’m ready to discuss that in an open forum as such at the moment.
Nevertheless, I’m writing this to say mental illness and true unhappiness is a complex problem that can’t simply be cured with some motivational quotes or phrases. The quotes I post on my blog, Instagram and Facebook daily are simply to spark something in people to make them feel good even if it’s for a moment. I just want others to feel good all the time when they see my posts. It’s impossible perhaps to always feel happy but to feel good, there’s always something that can give us that feeling even in times of despair.
With that said, I understand that life can suck sometimes but honestly the best way to get over it, is to find something that gives you joy even if it is for a moment. Now this can get tricky and I don’t want people to think I’m advocating for bad behaviors. Some of us have vices that may bring us a good feeling but might not be as helpful to our overall well-being. So in that case, if you know that little thing that makes you feel good isn’t going to do good for you overtime, I urge you to find something else.
Alright so let’s get into this here list (one of my favorite types of posts tbh).
- Find your splendor
- So above this list I mentioned finding your joy or that thing that makes you happy. Honestly, I know that this can be difficult when you are sitting in your mess, your depression, your awful situation or whatever your problem might be. But, if for a few seconds, perhaps 15 to be exact you can think of what truly brings you joy and write that down. Try your best to find a way to get up and do that thing you love but if you can’t, at least think about it. If you love going for walks, eating ice cream or dancing. Perhaps, you are so down that you can’t even get up. Then think about it! Think about that walk. Think about dancing. Think about that awesome cone of Mint Chocolate ice cream you could be having right now.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings
- Often times all these happy-go-lucky posts online (including mine) try to shove happy quotes and thoughts down your throat when the truth of the matter is sometimes that shit just don’t and won’t work for you at the moment. This is when I say “FEEL YOUR FEELINGS.” That is the only way to truly get to the root of the issue. If you don’t feel the pain or the harsh emotions, how will you know what needs to fixed? A doctor can’t treat your bruise if it isn’t visible. Just like a dentist can’t yank your tooth out if you don’t first report that your teeth are in pain. Feel what you are feeling and get to the bottom of it so you can overcome this moment or moments of pain.
- Remove your blinders
- When you are in midst, the mix and the very deep middle of your mess, you can be completely blindsided by that moment. No matter what people say to encourage may go right over your head. Every positive thought that comes to mind, you mentally swat away to enjoy your pity party. I am speaking from experience and recent moments in my own life. So if this doesn’t apply to you, please let it fly. But to my people who understand, listen those times can be hard as hell. However, we’ve got to learn to remove our blinders in that moment. We get so caught up in that pain that we almost allow it define us. That is not the way for any situation to get better. If you can’t see that there is more to life than that very issue that is making your life “suck,” how will you see the blessings coming your way?
- Embrace the current blessings
- To continue with the last point, how can we see our current blessings if we keep our blinders on? Think about the things that you already have in life that don’t suck at the moment. Like I said, I know it’s hard. I really do but I also know that deep down inside we all know that there is at the very least one thing we can be grateful for. Look, I don’t care if your grateful for your big toes because they keep your body balanced or you’re grateful for one of your eyelashes because they protect your eyes. Find something to embrace as a blessing even in your moment of despair.
- Do NOT get consumed in your thoughts
- I can’t say this any louder or in any other way. When we allow our thoughts or feelings to consume us, our situation only gets worse. For example, not only is something awful already taking place but now we are reacting as if the world is over. Of course, you aren’t going to feel better. Granted, I embrace feeling your feelings but you know when you’ve allowed yourself to get consumed. That is when you need to pump the brakes and find a way to get your mind off of those thoughts. Don’t thoughts consume you, CONSUME them and discard them. You will win this battle but you’ve got to get in control of your reactions to your situations as well.
So yes, life can suck sometimes BUT remember there are ways around that. I hope that this message has blessed someone as much as it has blessed me to write it. As always if you were moved and are now feeling splendid, please share it with someone else, comment, like and of course follow the blog as well. Have a splendid Monday and even more splendid week!
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,