There’s always this part of me that is full of regret when it comes to my talent or creativity. I’ll think to myself well I’ll be damned folks like Keke Palmer are literally my age doing the things I’ve always desired to but I’m nowhere near their status. I really love and admire Keke by the way. She’s one of my favorite people in the industry and in general.
Anyways, I think to myself “Man what if my family had the means while growing up to truly invest in my dreams. Where would I be?” Then I also consider “What separates me from those who dreamt it and achieved it?” Perhaps money is a thing. Perhaps it’s the connections. Perhaps it’s my lack of clear direction now as an adult. Perhaps as a child I could have been more vocal in my desire to be an actress and a writer.
However, I must also recall that these outlandish dreams didn’t really make sense to me as a kid. I didn’t see too many fellow Haitian creative or actresses on the TV. Of course there were was Garcelle and Wyclef (two people whose talent I truly do admire) but in my direct line of vision people like me didn’t go out on a limb like using their talent for work. Rather I was accustomed to seeing my parents and other adults in my community go to their hardworking jobs simply to provide for their families. While this isn’t an issue per se, it limited my faith in a way.
I didn’t and even still sometimes don’t believe in my ability to be different or make a career out of my dreams. Rather I become focused on simply going back to school to obtain another degree because that’s what “I’m” supposed to do. Plus it will afford me an ordinary career.
So I get wrapped up in this world of confusion where I want to exert all my energy on manifesting my true dreams BUT also fearful those dreams aren’t stable enough to afford me an at least decent life.
I become almost involuntarily immobile due to the focus on what can go bad. Instead of considering all the good that could come out of my attempt at success, my mind (usually caused by my depression) helps me to fixate on the negative.
Well that’s honestly what most creatives and humans in general struggle with. We constantly feel like we’re running out of time or that we’re not good enough so we cower in fear from even the good in life. Afraid that it’ll be ripped from our grasp as soon as we receive it.
We fear so much that we can’t even see that before we try our dreams already die. No legend or great person in history was known for their awesome couch potato skills (don’t mind me, I’m dragging myself here).
Every single thing in life is a process. Your birth was one, the thing before your birth was one as well (but let’s not get sidetracked here). The truth is we can’t expect to get anywhere without putting some miles in. Like the memes say, Beyoncé wasn’t built in one day!
Folks like her put in time and effort to achieve their level of success. Whether you like her or not that’s a fact jack. So for those of us who are rushing to get somewhere, just what are we in a rush for? Trust me in life there are stop signs, red lights and hell sometimes even yellow lights cause we need to SLOW down.
But one things for sure you should always be on green in your efforts. Always be on go! Of course there are times when you may mentally, emotionally and physically need a break BUT never stop imagining and working on how to get to the next level.
Overall, we can’t expect to simply hop in a car and reach the next street. It may be quick to get there or it may be slow but either route will involve some sort of process. Keys gotta be in the ignition, cars gotta go from park to drive and you’ve gotta put your foot to the pedal consistently.
Yes there’s going to be some mountains to ride around, a few potholes here, there and damn near everywhere (especially if you live in Jersey or New Orleans…ijs). But that’s all apart of your adventure to achievement. It’s cliche yes but it’s also try to say “Nothing good comes easy.” If it did we sure wouldn’t appreciate it much. Imagine walking into college the first day and getting your degree the next. Boom 4 years in 2 days, where’s the parties?? The booze?? The free food and t-shirts?? The all nighters? There’d be no stories of triumph to share. The degree wouldn’t even be worth it at that point.
So tell me, are you afraid of your struggle? If so, when are you going to stop fearing it and begin the process of appreciating it. In the words of one of my fav rappers, J. Cole, “There’s beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success.”
Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,